A Titan By Any Other Name
by ShockAndAwe
Summary: Beast Boy and Raven tentatively begin dating, dealing with themselves as well as the rest of the world on their path to love.
1. Green and Purple Go So Well

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans. Sadly.

* * *

Green and Purple Go So Well

* * *

"_Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain_

_I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end_

_I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend_

_But I always thought that I'd see you again."_

* * *

I never really know what to think of that song. It's by James Taylor, and it was one of the songs that helped him become famous as a musician, and it's the 227th best song ever according to Rolling Stone, but sometimes I like to listen to it and sometimes I want to smash the radio into a million pieces (which would be rather easy, honestly). Maybe it's because sometimes you're only listening to the melody and the acoustic guitar, and then other times you're actually identifying with this poor guy who's gone through everything and anything and he's just kind of hoping for a little relief, just for once, anything to get away from all the shit he's had to deal with.

No, wait, that's not you, that's me. I'm sorry I imposed that on you, but my feelings are kind of all over the place. And that's not exactly a good thing for me, either; if you have chaotic, puberty-driven feelings, you can just piss off at other people and maybe say or do some things you regret, but everyone else can just roll their eyes and say, _'Teenagers, what are you gonna do?'_ When I have that, I need to meditate, or else shit starts blowing up, among other things. It's not easy, I'm telling you. It sucks to have a demon as a dad, really, really bad.

And this day, it sucked to listen to James Taylor strum his guitar, as I sat in my room, cross-legged on the bed and contemplating things to myself. My book sat on the pillow, curiously untouched; this was against the norm, and I would've sworn that the novel would be greatly perplexed, if it could communicate (which has happened before, believe me). But why? Why was I sitting alone, trying ineffectively to stifle my own conflicted emotions? I'll tell you why; I had a (don't mock me dear God or I will hurt you) little… crush.

There, I said it.

And with who was I infatuated? Not that dick Rorek (or, rather, Malchior), for sure; his ruse was over for good, and I would think twice before falling in love with a purportedly benevolent mage stuck in a book. Aqualad? Heh. He was attractive, yeah, sure, but Titans East had their own thing going on, and I was pretty sure he was interested in other girls. Cyborg… more of a big brother, really; and Robin was my friend. A very good friend, yes, I'll admit that, but just friends, sorry, no love involved. So who is left, hmm? Who is contestant number five, hidden behind the curtain, out of sight but not out of mind? If you say Starfire, you're really goddamn funny, but no, I'm not lesbian, so sorry.

God help me, it's the annoying green kid with a gigantic grin plastered on his face half the time; the one that makes all the worst jokes, the one that plays those stupid video games like his life depends on it, the one who eats tofu, the one who shape-shifts… yeah, that idiot Beast Boy. Figures, huh? We were somewhere in the zone of hatred when we first met, I'll admit it; he was being a dumbass for most of the time, though, so I at least have some semblance of reason. You can give me that, at least. But after venturing into my fragmented mind and saving me from a mutated monstrosity, along with some well-needed comfort after that dragon dick tricked me, we became friends. Not best friends, sure, but friendly enough.

And then I had to walk by his room this morning. Screw me and my luck, but I did, and I heard what they were saying inside.

* * *

_(Earlier)_

"Dude, check out her legs!"

"Yeaaaaaaaah, she is _fine_, dog!" Cyborg said, ogling the picture. The Japanese chick was bent over, smiling at the photographer as she showcased her ass. She wasn't nude, no no, there were panties, but it was still a great picture, and she was probably the hottest girl I'd ever seen, despite being only a picture. "Why were you holding out, man? I didn't know you were such a…"

I shot him a look, wielding the rest of the collection with conviction (if he called me a pervert, he wasn't going to see the rest of the beautiful women I'd accumulated, simple enough).

"…collector," he finished, grinning slightly. I laughed and set them down for shared viewing.

"Check it out; I think I have a hot chick from every corner of the world, not even kidding, dude." Cyborg sifted through the photos; Russian, Irish, Chilean, and Turkish seemed to interest him the most. Personally, I find the Asian models to be the hottest, but, you know, it's all relative, really.

"BB, I can't believe you've been holding out with such good shit, man!" he cried, holding up a cowgirl sitting suggestively on a horse with minimal clothing. I shrugged, leaning back against the wall. My bedroom was where we viewed these… masterpieces; I couldn't dare to bring them out in the open, where Robin could smirk or Star could ask awkward questions or Raven could throw in a sarcastic remark. I looked up at the ceiling, grasping the innocent-looking Chinese woman in a schoolgirl uniform; speaking of the other Titans…

"Cyborg," I said, looking still up at the ceiling.

"Yeah?" he replied; I could see him studying another picture out of the corner of my eye. He muttered a little 'Booyah' to himself and picked up another.

"Do you think… who do you think is hot? Of all the Titans?" At this, Cyborg looked away from his picture, considering me with an air of uncertainty.

"Uh… well, all the Titan girls we have are amazingly hot, really. I mean… there's Bumblebee… and Jinx… and Wonder Girl… and even our own Starfire and Raven. A whole bunch of booyahs, you feel me?"

"Yeah, I guess." Silence. It was on my mind, but I couldn't bring it up entirely on my own, for whatever reason. It annoyed me and disgruntled Cyborg, I'm sure, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"You're crushing, man," Cyborg said finally, and I nodded sadly. I'm not much of a serious person, but I couldn't find a way to laugh at my own feelings, for the first time in my life. "Who? Star? You know Robin's got dibs like nobody's business, right?"

I hung my head. "I know that, all right, but it isn't her, man. I mean, don't get me wrong, she's good-looking, but… not her, dude. Not her." Cyborg leaned back, thought about it… I could see the thoughts running through his head, him contemplating all of the possible options… and then he popped up, suddenly alert, grinning from ear to ear.

"No way," he said, never dropping the smile.

"Way," I replied honestly.

"BB! You're screwing with me, aren't you? This is a bad joke, man, a really bad joke, you better drop it now."

"I'm not screwing with you man… this is pretty much as legit as Terra. I like Raven, Cy." Once again, neither of us dared to say anything. Was I putting him on the spot? Sure, no doubt about it, but, he was my friend, and I needed some input from someone else on how to deal with… well, myself, for one.

"Irony's a bitch," he laughed heartily. I flipped him off with the smallest hint of a smile playing across my face. "How long, BB, really? I can only assume that you're telling the truth, bro."

I puffed up my cheeks and let out a long breath. "I don't know. A while, I guess? I always thought she was hot, sure, but now I actually like her… I don't know, I think it's for what kind of person she is, you know what I mean? It's like… opposites attract, or something. She's my foil. I think it makes it more fun or something to imagine, I don't know."

"You really dig her, don't you?" Cyborg said, never dropping his smile. He was kind of laughing at me, sure, but I'd totally expected it, actually; still, like I said, I really needed to get it off my chest, and neither Robin nor Starfire seemed to have any promise in keeping my secret (no offense to either of them, but I trusted Cy a lot, lot, _lot_ more, there, I said it).

"Yeah, man," I breathed, imagining her image onto my ceiling: her hair, violet and short and shiny… I'd always liked it; her crystal, adorned on her forehead and somehow making her all that more attractive; her eyes, purple and full of intelligence; her mouth, usually pulled into a slight frown and so goddamn kissable; her grey skin, kinda freaky but all the more what made Raven, Raven; her body, long and limber and sexy… yeah, maybe I am a pervert, but, hey, you live somewhere with someone of the opposite sex for a while and try not to start fantasizing even a little, especially when you live with what are probably the two most perfect examples of beauty (like me, ha ha) in the world. Don't shoot the sheriff, you know what I mean?

"Hey, just promise you won't slip tongue on the first date, all right?" Cy smirked, acting out French-kissing with the air.

"Aw, shut up, man! I've got to get her to go on a date, anyway; I need to know if she's… interested at all, you know? There's no point if I'm going to just end up with another unrequited love again."

"Again?" Cyborg said. I didn't want to go into it anyway, but my ears perked up; I could hear the footsteps hurrying away from the door, like someone had been listening and didn't dare to eavesdrop any longer.

"You hear that?" I said, rising to my feet carefully.

"Um… no?" Cy answered, clearly puzzled. I shushed him and sped toward the door, hoping to possibly catch the culprit red-handed (who could it have been? I thought Star almost immediately, no offense to her in any way). The hallway, however, was empty on either side, and I sniffed disdainfully at the air. I couldn't smell anything really, except Robin's sweat from working out in the gym (it was far away, sure, but having animalistic senses… boy, did it reek). Silently, I shut the door.

* * *

That was me. That was I. I was the one lurking at the door; I came in around where Beast Boy asked Cyborg who he thought was hot. At first… it was just to snoop so I could rib them later, if needed… then, when I realized the conversation was turning toward me, I was practically glued to the door. I thought Beast Boy was going to spill his heart out… that was why I ran off; I was trying to respect his privacy, in lieu of my previous intrusion, but, still, I was more than happy to melt into the shadows when he poked his head out the door to try and catch me. Luck, luck, sheer dumb luck.

And what were they doing presently? I didn't know; I was done with espionage, at least for the day, and my room seemed like the only refuge for my emotions. Usually, I would've been levitating, but I didn't dare to do much magic, instead chanting my mantra over and over and over again while James Taylor was allowed to tear out my heart on the radio. Why hadn't I shut it off? Too busy meditating. Meditating and thinking, very, very hard.

"Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…" I murmured. Why am I freaking out, you say; what's wrong with having a little crush on somebody who you, coincidentally, just found out returns those very same feelings? Well, that's just it. All this time, I'd gone on thinking that Beast Boy wouldn't be returning the sentiment, really. Love/hate relationship? Sure, why not, that summed us up to a T; I certainly hadn't made it easy for me to gain his affection. But that was just how I was. Am. Whatever. To hear those words come out of his mouth, though, in the safety and secrecy of privacy with his best friend… that had to mean something, definitely, unquestionably, without a doubt, and that scared the living shit out of me, in a way I'd never known before.

I was afraid of love, more or less, and it embarrassed me to no end that I had to meditate with all my might to bring it back into balance. But don't you understand? I'd never really had a relationship before, never been able to reel in some poor bastard for a good few months of boyfriend/girlfriend bliss before one of us pissed off each other to a point where we would call of the whole thing, and here the opportunity stood, staring me straight in the face. First date? A first date? What the hell was I going to do? Say yes? Say maybe? Goddamnit, I was falling apart all too easily in the face of possible romance; it was almost disgraceful, in a self-esteem sort of way.

"Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…" I repeated over and over under my breath. Relax, relax. Breathe deeply. Be calm… collected… cool.

He thought I was hot. _Hot_.

Exasperated, I elected instead to collapse onto my bed; the book I should've been reading bounced off and deftly knocked into the radio, shifting from James Taylor to the Banshees. Much more my style. What song was it, _Kiss Them for Me_? I couldn't remember. I relaxed against the bed; my cape was thrown onto the bedpost, hanging innocently and looking almost like it retained life by itself, while I stretched out comfortably. Was I troubled? Sure. But why not get comfortable? It was late; did I forget to mention that? I think I did. But yeah, it was almost time to go to bed, so why not just sleep off the turmoil in my head? It sounded like a good idea to me, at least. And, pretty soon, I was dozing off, the radio fading away into complete silence.

I had a dream that night; I don't have dreams that often, I don't think I have much of a capacity for the regular nonsensical dreams regular people have, but maybe it was because of the rather strong feelings I was experiencing, I don't know, either way it involved Beast Boy and me. All I know is, it started with flying microwaves and ended with him and me doing some rather adult things in a massive heart-shaped bed. I woke up blushing heavily and wishing away the image away with all my might, but it didn't work that well, regrettably. Still, there was a new day to look forward to with (appropriately) some tiny semblance of fear and anticipation. Would he make the move? I could only wonder.

* * *

I was going to make the move. I'd woken up that morning knowing it, I'd put on my outfit knowing it, I'd looked at my reflection in the mirror knowing it, smiling and nodding to my own reversed image. I didn't know how I knew, but I knew that this day had the prospect of a yes to my all-important question; I knew this day would be mystically-inclined towards the blooming of romance… that or I was just a goddamn fool. But, hey, I could work with that; I was being a giddy dumbass that morning, my heart was beating hard with expectation, and the possibilities of what could happen during the date were swimming in my head.

But how? How could I approach her? It wasn't like we held many of the same interests (or any at all, sadly enough); I couldn't even dare to attempt planning a date while playing video games or anything remotely that geeky, because I had absolutely no doubt she would deny me faster than France surrendered to the Nazis. Maybe trying to just talk to her would work. Oh, you know, the usual casual courting: _"Oh, hey Raven, I didn't see you standing there! How are you? Good, good, me too, me too… um, hey, Raven, I was thinking… I mean, I don't know if you would want to… I don't know, um… maybe, sort of… if-if you wanted to… go on a little… um, go on a little date? Yeah, you heard me right, a… a date. You… you can stop laughing now." _That giddy, unrealistic feeling of being so confident she would say yes flew away very quickly, I'm sad to say. But, still, I'd committed myself to finally getting enough balls to ask her, to actually say it instead of just imagining the situation, to go for broke and see what could come of taking that crucial chance. No backing down now.

And I hadn't even left my room. Am I bit fanciful? Sure, why not. I slid the door open, strode out into the hallway humming happily with my eyes closed, and accidentally walked into the wall heading toward the main room; luckily enough, nobody was there to capture my idiocy, but, still, I nonchalantly walked in on everybody in the main room blushing lightly and trying desperately not to reveal my own embarrassment. It was the usual stations for everybody: Cyborg, racing digital cars on the screen with wild abandon, absorbed in the video game; Robin sitting nearby, checking maintenance on his weapons and gadgets (kid never could get his mind off of work, Jesus); Starfire, floating about and tending to Silkie (I think it was a good thing for her that I stole it away with me, don't you?); me, of course, up way later than pretty much everyone else; and Raven, absorbed in a book and obscured by her hood. She looked calm and composed, as always. Her legs were crossed, resting nakedly on the coffee table, and even in the early rays of sunlight in the morning, I couldn't help but think she looked stunning, honestly. But I needed to be calm… smooth… casual. I played at looking for food in the refrigerator a bit, electing to pull out some tofu bacon (ah, the wonders of vegetarians finding ways to replicate food are endless and delightful for me) and chew on it thoughtfully. I plopped on the couch next to Cy, sinking into the cushions.

"Astro-Racers III?" I said, eyeing the TV screen. Cyborg lifted up the controller with the movements of the car, totally engrossed.

"Yeaaaaah, buddy! The real-time mechanics are _phenomenal_, bro. You want to co-op?"

"Nah, I'm good, man," I replied, trying to sound cool. Why? Who would care? Raven wouldn't, for sure; she was captivated by her book, never even daring to so much as throw me a look when I'd plunked down on the couch. I was being incredibly stupid, and I knew it… but, then again, I'd always been that way, so what was the problem, really?

I bit into the tofu bacon, regretting not running it through the microwave but refusing to rise from my spot. I was going to figure out how to approach Raven, one way or another. Like that Blondie song! You know… _one waaaaaay or another… I'm gonna getcha…_ no? Sorry, my bad.

"Good morning, Friend Beast Boy! I did not see your entrance, so busy was I with my bumgorf," Star said, hovering off and smiling warmly. Silkie wriggled in her arms; he was… I don't know… our mascot? Either way, no one could resist his babyish cuteness; even Raven had I soft spot for him… I think.

"Good morning, Starfire... and Silkie. He's looking lively today, isn't he?" She nodded happily and clutched him closer, like a mother would her child. "Oh, hey, wait, I've got a joke for you, actually; why is a raven like a writing desk?"

She floated in the air for a few moments, thinking hard and looking up at the ceiling like it held the answers, before she turned back to me and shook her head slowly. "I do not comprehend why a raven compares to a desk of writing, friend."

"Because they both have inky quills!" I finished, grinning toothily. Starfire paused for a moment, contemplating the answer in her head, and then giggled uncontrollably, causing even Silkie to mimic her laughter. She never had any idea what any of my jokes meant (and that one was really a riddle), but she always laughed anyway. I never thought it was all that forced, either; it was her way of making me feel good, that was how I always saw it. Robin threw a blind glance up from his gadgets for a moment, then immediately went back to work, and Cy merely kept his attention on his video game. Raven, however, had lowered her book, and I could feel her gaze on me. Trying to be as blasé as possible, I "by accident" caught eye contact with Raven and found, surprisingly, that she seemed to be smiling the tiniest bit.

"What?" I said, sounding somewhat defensive on purpose, but in a humorous way. The tiny almost-smile managed to stay the same even when she spoke.

"I know where that's from." Raven's voice was monotone and gravelly all the time, something I'd learned to get used to after spending so much time together as a team, but, still, it had the tone of subtle wonder.

"Oh, yeah?" I replied, turning my body so it faced towards her, almost expectantly. This was at least getting somewhere, right? I thought so… hell, I felt so.

"Yeah. _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland_, Chapter Seven; Mad Hatter says it to Alice. You should've said 'I haven't the slightest idea,'" she said, folding her hands over her book. Was that it, sitting right in front of her? I couldn't see from my angle, sorry to say; still, I smiled wide and put my hand behind my head coyly.

"Yeah, I guess so, huh? I'm not being true to the source, hahaha," I laughed. She blinked, and the little smile increased the tiniest bit, I'm proud to say. She said nothing in response, though, and the conversation died too fast to be even remotely fair. What could I say? How could I do this? I never thought about talking usually, it just sort of fell out of my mouth like a waterfall, but with the ulterior motive in my head, I couldn't find words. It was an alien experience, very confusing, very frightening, and I needed to break it as soon as possible. Before Raven could get her hands around her book and disappear back into it, I cleared my throat. Again, she caught my eye. Hers were so beautiful.

"Hey… Rae?" I said. I knew that Robin and Cyborg were definitely too involved in themselves to be listening, but Starfire was liable to be snooping, if only a little bit. I tried to guard my voice, but it had shakiness to it, it revealed too much. Her face was unreadable. What was on her mind? I didn't know, couldn't, not even if my life depended on it.

"Yes, Beast Boy?" Again, monotone, indecipherable; Raven probably held the title as the most mysterious person I'd ever met in my entire life.

"I—" I started. And you know what happened? Guess my luck, try it, please, because it tortures me to no end; that stupid alarm blasted off. The red lights started turning. We had to go and save somebody's sorry ass from God-knows-who, another one of those criminally-inclined freaks from our expansive rouge gallery. Couldn't have chosen a better time to decide to rob a bank, huh? Well, I knew what I was going to do to whoever decided to break our crime-free streak of vacationing; I was going to _kick… his… ASS_. Try getting beat up by a green gorilla, it is NOT fun, I know how powerful being one is and I can tell you that already.

I would have to find another way to ask her out. Perfect, just perfect.

* * *

I had a feeling he was trying to catch my attention. Just a gut feeling, you know? Why not humor him and respond, give him a chance to ask that all-important question? I'd been waiting for it rather eagerly until the alarm sounded off, drawing us all away from our morning routines (and the one relatively promising exception). Who was it? Our friend Johnny Rancid, that motorcycle-riding asshole, who was apparently now demon spawn (oh, Larry, you and your reality-bending finger). He was doing something that related to blowing up a bridge, something like that; frankly, I didn't care enough to bother, instead focusing on beating him down to a point where he could be incapacitated by the police force.

I don't know if it was machination by Beast Boy or somebody else (I don't really think so, nobody's that conniving on the Titans), but when it came time to select who would wait around with the unconscious bastard, it was me and him who stayed behind, the rest of our friends running off to do what as they pleased. Rancid moaned from the ground; I kicked him in the side apathetically.

"Quiet, you," I said. Beast Boy laughed at this. Good, good, breaking the tension was good.

"Don't you think they should find something better to do with their lives?" Beast Boy said, smiling at the horizon. I looked in that direction, as well; it seemed cop cars were arriving, although they were quite a bit far-away from where we stood.

"Villains? Yes, I believe so entirely. They only come around to bother us, it seems."

"Hahaha! Yeah, that's pretty much it, Rae. How sad is that? We're the reason they have anything to do during the day."

"Rather sad, actually," I conceded. Was he trying to get me laugh? He wasn't telling me jokes the way he usually did. I liked his jokes… I mean, yeah, I always ribbed him for his crummy jokes, but it was that aspect of his personality I liked the most. I kind of hated myself whenever I put him down for it, truthfully, but it was a vicious cycle I couldn't remove myself from. Still, I had to remain calm; all this self-examination was raising doubt, and I really didn't want things to start spontaneously combusting, especially at what could be such a crucial time. Plus, the silence was unsettling. Last time, I'd left him up to breaking it, though. I figured it was my turn this time.

"Beast Boy." He turned from the horizon, looking at me. It looked like his eyes were shining, foolishly enough of me. "Weren't you about to say something to me before we had to beat _him_ to a pulp?" I gestured toward said victim, who dared not to become fully conscious in fear of what we would do to put him back under.

"Huh?" he said. He looked like a deer in headlights. "Oh. Oh! Yeah, I remember what you're talking about. Um… I don't know if it lost its significance or not since, but… do… I mean, you like books, right?"

I nodded pleasantly, never breaking eye contact. He couldn't tell that my heart beat fast in my chest, and neither could I, really; immediately my mind responded, chanting furiously my mantra to quell the rising power flowing through my body. It worked, yes, but it was dangerous, to a point.

"Well… well, I know this café. It's book-themed—kinda Barnes & Noble's, but not really, you know what I mean? I figured, since you like books and I like coffee—"

"You like coffee?" I interjected. Slightly confused, he nodded his affirmation. Then and there I made the mental note to remember.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to go sometime… like maybe tonight or something, I don't know. My treat!" He added the last sentence maybe to try and convince me, but it was superfluous, I can tell you that.

"Well, my schedule is booked with meditation, but I think I could squeeze it in." He hung on the words expectantly, and at first looked highly shocked, before his mouth twisted into a disbelieving smile.

"You just made a joke! And said yes! Holy shit," he said, chuckling to himself. I dared a smile, and he grinned even wider. His composure suddenly turned rigid, however. "Wait. Do you consider this a… a date?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, why not. Just don't advertise it to the team, okay?" His sunny smile once again spread across his face; it made me feel happy just to see it so nakedly.

"No prob! I wouldn't dream of it, I swear." The cop cars rolled even closer, the lights flashing ostentatiously in the full sun of perfect noon. A date at a book-themed café? Cheesy somewhat, sure, but amazingly thoughtful, and full of… prospect. He laughed to himself, and I raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

"I wonder if people are going to make a big deal about us, alone together at a café. It's not like we can blend in or anything." I let out a tiny laugh, something that seemed to bewilder Beast Boy's ears.

"Who gives a rat's ass about what they think? I intend to enjoy it."

"Heh heh, yeah," he said, and his eyes practically glazed over as he visibly retreated into his fantasies, whatever they entailed. I could only hope I would eventually end up meeting his expectations. That would be… nice.


	2. Apples and Oranges

Disclaimer: The cartoon series Teen Titans does not belong to me in any way whatsoever. If it did, that'd be pretty cool, but no, it doesn't.

* * *

Apples and Oranges

* * *

"_For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul." –Judy Garland_

* * *

I could see the police as they meticulously filed away down the road, taking care to keep Johnny Rancid fully in their possession; we had good relations, what with being on the same side of the blind scales of justice, but when scores of grown men and women are being outperformed by five teenagers, albeit rather talented ones… well, it's kind of depressing, really. Jump City remained free of any terror or threats, for the moment. It always found a way of pulling in some new half-competent criminal dumbass with some weird get-up (Control Freak, for one) that we would have to take down _over_ and _over_ and _over _again. But, that's all in a day's work too, right?

Eh; at least there was the relative relief of flying. My cape fluttered behind me, my hands absorbed by incandescent black orbs; people below always saw me first, and stopped in their tracks to either freeze in place and watch, or clap their hands in gratitude. This was another time I favored hiding beneath the hood, even though waving at people wasn't that hard to do. It seemed better just to look like you were busy with something moderately important sometimes. Which I was… somewhat.

Date? When? Where? I'd said yes to it being a labeled a date, but even so, I'd never actually been on one; being half-demon doesn't usually figure into people's romantic ideals (and if it does, they have _serious_ problems), but when it's coming from a green kid who can turn into different animals, I don't suppose there's that much of a difference between the two of us, really. The outlook of a book-themed visit to the café was decidedly considerate to my interests, but it could easily end in disaster. Two people can like each other, sure, but it's not always meant to be; Romeo and Juliet, for instance. The kids fell in love and married the exact same day, then went to bed together that night, and then the next day, both of them committed suicide for each other. Pretty frigging melodramatic, don't you think?

Not that Beast Boy and I would be repeating that cycle, of course… if he ever proposed, it would more than likely be a joke, and I'd be quick enough to slap him across the face before he could possibly recover. Still, I was a little jittery. Nothing some meditation wouldn't remedy, of course, but I savored the feeling, in an odd little way; maybe because it was directed towards someone, for the first time in a while. Come to think of it, the only substantial crush I'd had for a long time was with that manipulative bastard of a dragon Malchior, and even then it was for the person he'd pretended to be. So, there you go; never been dated, never been on the receiving end of a crush, and never been kissed. One was already down, another was about to put to rest, and I could only have fleeting hope for the last, sacred one.

Would his fang hurt to kiss, maybe? Or did I really even care if it did? _No_, I answered myself; _I did not, not in the least_. It was kind of cute, anyway.

Of course, Beast Boy had been flying next to me the entire time; it just so happened that he was currently in the form of a green eagle, and even if we could somehow communicate, I would've felt crazy talking to an eagle while I was by myself (even still with the knowledge that his default appearance was human, or almost). Titans Tower was well in sight, standing erect and watching over Jump City like the Colossus of Rhodes. We were to touching ground soon, I knew that, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to say anything to Beast Boy. There was a question on my mind, and I wasn't all too certain if I wanted to be the one to ask it; still, upon quietly landing on the rocky shore of our home, it was bugging me too much for my liking to be ignored.

"Beast Boy," I said, suddenly breaking through the sound of the waves gently crashing onto the beach surrounding us. He morphed from the eagle to human and turned to look at me, his head slightly cocked to the side. I would've kissed him, in the moment, but a rock exploded on the other side of the island, and even though he couldn't hear it, I cursed myself immediately, again having to resort to chanting "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" in my head over and over again. I can do it, yes, but it is distinguishably hard to talk and meditate in your mind at the same time, and I say this sincerely.

"What's up?" he said, cracking his back.

"Do you really want to go incognito on our date? I… I don't mind, if you want to."

He wove his hands together behind his head and shrugged. "It really doesn't matter to me—although I have always wanted to go out in a big chicken costume." He trailed off with a toothy smile, and I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, whatever floats your boat; just be aware I'll more than likely leave you behind."

"Oh, you know you wouldn't… you'd be wearing a bunny costume to complement me, haha!"

"I've been a rabbit before, and I am _not_ going to go through it again."

"When…? Ohhhhhh yeah, Mumbo. Well, hahaha, welcome to my world! It sucked so bad to only be inanimate objects, though. But nothing's better than Robin becoming a monkey, am I right?"

I smiled a little. "Yeah, you've got me there. It's curiously… fitting of him."

"That's what I thought! I didn't say anything, though; I figured he'd get kinda pissy about it, you know what I mean?"

"You underestimate Robin. He can have a sense of humor sometimes."

"Yeah, the important word is 'sometimes'. Ehhh… well, he's not _all _that bad, though."

"I find it safe to say I'm probably the worst, don't you agree?"

He paused, giving me a blatant stare. "No. Well, kinda, yeah, but… I mean, that's just you—there's really no point at nitpicking at who you are. I mean, you might be serious sometimes, but… I don't know… I think I kinda like that," Beast Boy said, punching the code to let us in the Tower. We'd been walking that entire time. I hadn't even noticed my own legs moving, how embarrassing is that? And now I had to repeat my meditation mantra even harder, to keep the emotions under control, because Beast Boy was making it so goddamn hard to keep them docile.

"Really?" I hoped I didn't sound too eager for an answer, but I did at least convey a sort of heartfelt tone. I knew the answer already (empath, remember?), but I wanted to hear it from his lips.

"Yeah," he smiled. Butterflies. Shit. We had already walked well past the entrance, but it slammed down with a resounding thud, and both of us jumped a little. "What the hell was that?" he said, eyeballing the metal door with considerable mistrust.

"Who knows? Somebody can get Cyborg to fix it. I'll—I'll be in my room," I said hurriedly, trying desperately to hold up the dam blocking my rather destructive feelings. Waving an awkward goodbye, I phased through the levels of the Tower, rushing to my room and just barely restraining the explosions that wished so desperately to finally be released on everything, anything, something. I didn't even care to settle on my own bed; I just floated in the air, crossing my legs swiftly and pulling down my hood.

"Azarathmetrionzinthos azarathmetrionzinthos azarathmetrionzinthos azarathmetrionzinthos," I breathed, willing away the impending destruction. After a solid minute of rushed, prayer-like meditation, I could feel the danger recede back into the depths of my body; still, I remained levitating, never daring to open my eyes or move from my position. Meditation, meditation, meditation, to deal with my silly little schoolgirl crush. But that wasn't all that is, was it? No, not at all. And that had the chance for the most devastation of all.

* * *

I scratched my head bewilderedly, watching her dissipate through the ceiling; had I said something wrong? She'd seemed fine five seconds ago… it was only when the stupid door slammed down that she had to suddenly run off to her room. No, it wasn't me… was it? I glared at the door accusingly, even though it couldn't possibly respond; _Thanks for deciding to malfunction, dipshit, you just screwed up a really nice moment_. It didn't acknowledge me. Figures. I sighed to myself and consoled my uncertainty by giving possible reasons as the elevator brought me up to the top level: she'd been scared (no, dumbass, she didn't get spooked over things like that); she needed to go the bathroom (that's more your style, not hers); she was nervous (who, Raven? HAHAHA, right); she wanted to get ready for tonight (she has the patience to wait to do that, and you know it); she… maybe it was that time of the… of the month (you sick bastard, no); I settled on that maybe, just possibly, she was having that thing… that thing where, if she felt too much of an emotion, stuff exploded or whatever. It seemed like good enough of an explanation, although it still didn't leave me all that reassured.

The doors opened and I stepped out, lost in my thoughts. The main room was largely empty, except for Cyborg; he remained glued to the television, button-mashing through another racing game (where he found the time and money to buy them all, I don't think I'll ever really know). The sun was high and the sky was endlessly blue, void of any clouds whatsoever, but, still, it looked nice. Instead of the coy foreplay I'd engaged in early that morning, I rushed straight ahead, practically hurdling over the couch to sit down next to Cy. He glanced over momentarily, threw up a controller, and I caught it deftly, merging into the game like I'd been playing only seconds ago.

"What's up?" I said, sticking my tongue out slightly; I knew where the next secret tunnel was, but did he?

"Nothing much. Just kicking street-racing ass," he replied; he knew the secret tunnel, but I beat him to it, gaining the power-up just in time.

"Robin and Starfire?" I asked, swerving around a corner to dodge a targeting missile. It exploded on the wall, knocking back several other computer-controlled cars.

"Doing their love thing, I think… BOOYAH!" he yelled, victorious over knocking down the lead car.

"Yeah? Did Raven come through, by any chance?" I said, gaining speed quickly and beating out another car.

"Nah, haven't seen her, BB. Why?" he responded. I shrugged visibly. Should I tell him? I figured it couldn't hurt, not that much.

"Don't blab," I whispered cautiously, "but we're going on a…"

"A what? Speak up, BB, I can't hear you. BOOYAH, and KISS MY ASS!" he screamed triumphantly to the TV screen.

"… A date." At first, I don't think Cy registered what he heard; he merely continued racing, nodding as if I'd asked him if he'd like prime rib with buffalo wings on the side to eat for dinner. Then, however, he froze, and with gentle care put the game on pause. He was slow in turning around, almost comically so, and when he was done I faced him with the hint of a knowing grin playing across my face.

"You grew a pair, BB?" he said, dumbfounded. I scowled a little, but nodded positively. There was another lull, where silence filled the space rather uncomfortably, and before I knew it I was being squashed by cybernetics (mixed painfully together with raw human muscle to ensure that I couldn't possibly breathe). "THAT'S MY BOY, PIMPIN' IT OUT!" he yelled, laughing to himself all the while. I pushed him off and frantically caught my breath on the couch, allowing a few chuckles when I could breathe regularly once more.

"Dude, shut up," I said amicably. He wore a fairly wide smirk, but he easily conceded. Brushing down my outfit, I leaned back against the cushion.

"When, bro? Tonight?" I nodded, smiling slightly. "Aw-huh-huh-_huh_, BB, my man, I knew you were a go-getter guy, but, I mean… damn, dude, she said yes?"

"Yeah! Yeah," I said. Cyborg smirked even more.

"Heh heh, that's my BB… just remember, buddy; sex can wait, masturbate!" he said, bursting out in a fresh round of laughter at the last word. I threw a punch, but he dodged it easily, holding his sides all the while.

"No, no, wait, I've got a better one: protection for your erection is the right direction! HAHAHA, c'mon man, you have to admit that's pretty goddamn clever!"

It was, admittedly, but, still, I socked him a good one, POW, right in the jaw. He wheeled back, holding the side of his face without ever ceasing to snicker. I could've been offended, and rightfully so, but I didn't want to be in a bad mood when it came time to actually go on the date, and even my best friend's joshing wasn't going to get me down, not if I could help it.

"You've got a sick mind, dude," I said, chuckling just a little bit. "It's just a date, after all… I mean, we're just going to a café for dinner or whatever, no biggie, right? It's not like we're going to have kids or something, jeez." Cyborg put up his hands in defeat.

"Whatever you say, BB; whatever you say, my man," he grinned, relaxing on the couch and picking up his controller once more and turning back to his game. Maybe it was better that way, I don't know, but at least I'd gotten it off my chest to someone. Wait, what had Raven said to me, warning me? Oh, yeah.

"Don't tell anybody, Cy," I warned, hanging on the edge of my seat; he nodded, though his eyes still on his video game.

"My lips are sealed, locked, guarded, and welded together, you dig?"

I sat back, relieved that he hadn't made a taunt or any fuss about it at all, and expressed my respite with a contented sigh. "Yeah, man, I totally dig it."

* * *

_(Later)_

Hours passed by fleetingly, without distinction at all; I was lost in myself, successful in my meditation but still wary to go back out and face Beast Boy. I'd practically abandoned him, ran away like a little girl, and no doubt he was confused by it all. Probably blaming himself, too, and that wasn't fair at all; it was his fault, yeah, but in an entirely indirect way, nothing he could've helped. It was me, me, always me, and that was largely annoying to me, I'm proud to say. And yet, I was at peace, tranquil; surely I could venture out into the main room and chance an encounter? We didn't even have a specific time yet, and I could only imagine how cautious Beast Boy would be to walk in on my privacy (the last time he had, he and Cyborg had gone on a wild trip through the abstractness of my mind). Touch and go, touch and go; the dilemma of whether or not to leave one's room doesn't happen that often, but it was torturing me to have to decide.

Luckily, I didn't have to. Three timid knocks resonated through the door, and I drifted down to the ground, stepping carefully onto the floor below (I'd been in mid-air for God-knows-how-long). Would it be him? A bit cliché, but I wouldn't mind if it was him waiting for me on the other side; quite frankly, I was hoping it would be him, if that's not pathetic enough. And who was it but…

"I'm not bothering you, am I?" he said, looking like a child who was afraid his mother would beat him for taking another cookie from the cookie jar (it was a weird image, yeah, but it fit perfectly, he had the hands behind his back and everything); he was wearing the same black and purple outfit he wore every day, but he seemed… cuter, somehow. I shook my head reassuringly.

"I just finished my meditation exercises, actually. I'm ready to go if you are."

"You-you are? Cool! I mean, you're not just saying that to be polite or whatever, right? Because you don't need to be. I mean… you're allowed to be polite, it's not that I'm saying you can't be, but I… I mean, I don't… you don't have to… you know…" He was confusing himself. It was pitiful and hilarious, but I stayed refreshingly composed when I responded; I was afraid if I laughed at him now he would lose his nerve, and I'd really been looking forward to the date, if that's not selfish enough.

"Believe me Beast Boy, I'm perfectly fine… I assume you're ready as well?" He nodded furiously, almost like a bobble-head. "Okay. Well then, let's head out, why don't we?" He grinned, his fang punctuating his apparent pleasure, and held out his arm like a gentleman to lead me out. I rolled my eyes at this, but good-naturedly, and walked out of my room, taking care to shut the door. We walked out side-by-side, making pleasant conversation the entire way down.

* * *

I checked over my shoulder every now and then to see if Raven was keeping up well; it wasn't that I thought she couldn't, but I felt nervous that I would maybe make a wrong turn and not find the café soon enough, and then maybe she would get mad at me or something for wasting her time. Kinda melodramatic, yeah, but I was worried; I didn't want to screw it up, especially not when I had the convenience of a bird's-eye-view. As a bird. Or falcon, if you prefer; specifics don't matter that much to me when it comes to flight, really. I'd been surprised at first when Raven didn't seem to know the place, since I'd figured she'd already know all those artistic-y, sort of intellectual places around the city, and I voiced this when we touched down (thank God, I didn't get lost once, and the dusk sun was still hanging on the horizon when we arrived).

"Do you know every video game store in the city?" she countered, studying the outside architecture. I shriveled in sheepishly.

"If I say yes, you won't call me a dork, will you?" She glanced at me from the side.

"I won't, no, but I'm presuming you do."

"Well… yeah. Yeah, every single last one. It's bad, I know."

"Eh, I don't think it's not that bad; I think Cyborg knows them all, in addition to all the mechanic garages in the area, don't you?"

"Hahaha! Yeah, I don't doubt it. Um, table for two, please?" I was addressing one of the girls standing behind the counter, in this case "Angela". She gave me a real funny look and turned to Raven, who just shrugged.

"Uh, you seat yourselves in the café, sir. I'm just here for ordering, if you have anything you want to purchase," "Angela" said, talking to me like I was mentally unstable or something. I wanted to hit myself over the head for looking like such a dumbass in front of Raven, but I figured I'd swallow my pride and ignore my own mistake.

"Oh, okay. Um… I guess I'll just take a medium-sized fruit salad, with some rye bread, and a small coffee with cream and sugar… what about you, Rae?"

She looked down at the display case, studying the different showcased sandwiches, and I couldn't help but think she just looked so… so pretty, so amazingly pretty. Who gives two shits about grey skin? Mine was green, plus I had funky ears and the fang thing going on.

"I'll take a club sandwich and also get a small coffee. Black, though." "Angela" nodded, typed it onto the cash register, and threw me another funny look before walking off to retrieve our dinner.

"You've never been in here before, have you?" she said, leaning back against the display case; I smiled painfully and granted Raven one small, piteously apologetic nod.

"I was just sort of walking by one day and it just kinda… I don't know, caught my eye or something. I thought of you instantly, though, and I figured, what the hell? Why not take you out and enjoy the fine, decidedly vegetarian-friendly cuisine I saw on the menu outside? And here we stand!" Raven took a moment before responding to scan the restaurant with notable interest, and I did too: it was kind of dark, with a lot of warm brown and dark red colors, but it wasn't gloomy, just relaxing; there was an entire wall supporting several bookcases, and they were full to the brim; near the bookcases were some coffee tables and spaced out chairs, big and comfy and probably perfect for someone who loved to read a lot; to the right, near another bookcase-free wall, were some small tables, ideal for two people to sit at and eat together (or more people could sit together, if you connected the tables); on all of the walls were pictures of book covers (some of them I kind of knew) and what I took to be authors (I had no idea who _any_ of them were, but, thankfully, someone decided to label exactly who they were on little plaque thingies underneath; otherwise, the wallpaper sported trimming with books leaning on each other, and I think they were supposed to be classics or whatever (one big one said _War and Peace_, and another little skinnier one proclaimed it was _Robinson Crusoe_); maybe not my speed, but Raven seemed to enjoy it, and that made me happy.

"It's nice," she concluded, and even though it sounds like she said it curtly or something, she really did think it was a nice little café, I could tell. I concurred enthusiastically (hahaha, big words for Beast Boy). Instead of studying our surroundings, however, she turned to me; our eyes locked, and suddenly my heart started to pump really fast. She looked like she was about to kiss me. "Thank you, Beast Boy. You don't know much this means to me."

"S-Sure, no prob," I said, silently celebrating on the inside. She leaned in close, never take her eyes off mine, and I could smell her, a mixture of some fruit she probably used in her shampoo and sweet-smelling herbs from some form of witchcraft she probably performed in her room. Her lips looked so ready for mine to clamp on (I know that sounds really bizarre, but it's what I was thinking, at the time), and when she spoke, I could smell her breath; peppermint, with extra emphasis on the mint.

"Can I tell you something, Beast Boy?"

"Yeah… sure…" I wasn't focusing on my words, merely drifted forward, willing myself to make the dive and just kiss here then and there, just kiss her, get the stupid foreplay over with and finally kiss her, goddamnit… and then she spoke.

"Our food just arrived," Raven said, and she actually burst into a wide grin. I rubbed my eyes humorously, blinking to make sure I was seeing right. I couldn't believe it; not only was she fully smiling, but she'd just been funny. _Funny. Raven. Funny._ I laughed kind of hard, but not so much that I seemed like I was insane (remember, "Angela" already had her doubts), and even she allowed a little giggle.

"Oh, man, you got me! You're a tease. Holy shit, I didn't know you could be funny like that… even though it's at my expense… but still! Not bad, Rae, not bad… I've taught you well," I smirked, standing proudly as I grabbed my salad/bread in one hand and the coffee carefully in the other. I'd already slapped the money on the counter before Raven could even attempt to try to pay (although I'd also already said it was my treat, but cut me a break, I was nervous).

"You, teach me comedy? Oh no, that would be disastrous," she replied, carrying her sandwich and coffee with her as well. I laughed and picked the table closest to us, right under the picture of a guy named Edgar Allan Poe (once I had a moment where she wasn't looking, I ogled the plaque; that dude had a massive forehead, and he looked frigging depressed, but I guessed it was all right).

We sat down and ate our dinners conservatively, instead paying much more attention to each other and what we were talking about. I'd had anxiety about talking to her, too, but it came surprisingly easy for the both of us; I don't think there was a point where an awkward silence had to fill a gap anywhere in that night. Even after the food had disappeared and our coffee cups were sucked dry, we still didn't dare to get up, instead focusing only on ourselves and our time together. I'd hoped for something good, but that dinner? It was great. Went flawlessly, really. Our conversation ended up in some funny places, too; at one point we were deciding what fruit we would be, if given the choice (don't ask me how it came up, it just did). Rae said apples, because they had a strong shape and because she'd read somewhere that they bestowed wisdom in old fairy tales or something like that; I said oranges, because it tickled me that they were same color as their name and because of the shape, and Raven sort of rolled her eyes at me, but it was okay, because we were still having a lot of fun. So much fun, so much talking, so much loosening up; I actually got her to legitimately laugh a couple of times, I'm proud to say. By the time we walked out, it was pretty late, very dark out, and the warmish air outside had turned pleasantly cool.

"You want to go on a walk in the park? I think it's gorgeous outside," I offered, and Raven happily agreed. The park wasn't far away from where we were, maybe half a block; we made our way there to some extent uncomfortably, though, and when we reached the haven of the park's green, I turned to her apprehensively. "I didn't do anything wrong unknowingly, did I? I can be stupid like that."

"No, not at all. I was just debating whether holding hands would be a good idea or not. I think it's safe in the shadows of night, don't you?" I let loose a relieved grin, and answered her first by weaving my fingers through hers, careful not to crush anything. They fit flawlessly.

"Absolutely." Flawless.


	3. All Is Full of Love

Disclaimer: I do not own those Titans that happen to be Teens, nor James Taylor's song in the first chapter, or the Siouxsie and the Banshees mention in that same chapter, and anything else I reference to that has a copyright, especially the movies and the Björk song. So there.

* * *

All Is Full of Love

* * *

"There are four questions of value in life… What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love." –Johnny Depp

* * *

I woke up that morning still feeling very animated from the night before; I was almost jumping up and down in place like a wind-up toy, knocking over stacks of assorted comics, games, and plain trash, and I did the little energized jig in my room cheerfully out of sight of anyone else (even so, if anyone had been there, I still would've done it, and I would be beaming uncontrollably, in spite of everything). Why was I still so jacked up about it? It wasn't really because we held hands, although that had been nice, or that we'd had a really nice evening, which we had and the both of us had enjoyed it a lot; it was because I hadn't screwed up, namely. Maybe I made a tiny bit of a fool out of myself at certain points, sure, but I hadn't pissed her off once, not once, and walking through the park, holding her hand… well, we hadn't kissed, no, but we'd been close enough at times, intimate to a point, and, honestly, I hadn't been disappointed at all (I couldn't expect _too_ much out of her, that wouldn't be fair at all). And the last thing she had said… the last thing Raven had said, when we split off to go to bed so late and she'd caught me off-guard by hugging me so softly, so sweetly, and she'd leaned to whisper into my ear… the last thing she'd said had been "I think a second date is in order, don't you?"

I agreed. I agreed eagerly. You see why I was so jumpy, so giddy that morning, don't you? I hadn't planned far ahead as a second date, I hadn't been willing to be such an egotistical bastard and set my watch and warrant on her being willing to go on another, and now I had this wonderful surprise to prepare for and look forward to. I don't know, maybe that sounds a bit juvenile to you, but I liked it… I liked it a lot. It helped to move on from… well, from Terra. I don't like opening old wounds that much and I tried not to bring it all back to the surface… but yeah, I was getting past her, too. Not that it was like I was using Raven for my own means or anything like that at all (I mean, jeez, that'd be frigging cruel), but this had to be some sort of a new beginning, some sort of renewal in my life… maybe even in both of our lives… right? Either way, I was pumped.

Again, I'd woken up later than everybody else in the Tower (how did Raven manage to get up so early? It wasn't fair, not at all), but I wasn't the only one in a good mood… or, rather, the one_s_ in a good mood... or whatever, shut up, I'm not that good at grammar. Robin and Starfire weren't the kind of couple where they would make out with everybody else in the room or call each other disgustingly over-cute nicknames in fluffy, frou-frou flirting, thank God, but every now and then you'd catch these little wisps of their relationship; that day they sat together on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder and their hands intertwined like a really complicated knot between their adjacent laps. She was sprawled out against the couch, almost lying down, and Robin just sat normally, but both of them looked really content. Something told me they'd shared a bedroom the night before, considering Robin looked pretty peaceful (compared to his usual overtones-of-a-workaholic, justice-never-sleeps attitude) and Star had a dreamy expression on her face. That's what you get for letting teenagers sleep in the same building without any parental guidance, right?

This time around Cyborg was the one doing morning maintenance, fiddling with his arm and running routine check-ups on his cybernetics or whatever; I knew he didn't like being half-machine and I can respect that, but even so, if he hadn't turned into what he was, he wouldn't be a superhero, and we never would be friends. All things happen for at least some reason, I think. Raven was flipping casually through the channels, barely reacting except for the occasional raised eyebrow to anything too flamboyant or weird on the screen. She saw me walk in and dared a small smile; so did I, remembering how close she'd been last night.

Then I tripped over my own two feet and nothing else. Smooth, right? Luckily nobody else saw, they were too busy with love and robotics apparently, but when I swung back up Raven had her hand glued against her forehead, and she was shaking her head mock-disapprovingly (oh I could see that quivering barely-held-back grin on her face, believe me). What could I do? It must've been at least moderately funny, though, and I could appreciate that; after all, humor _is _my forte… I think. I laughed at myself as well, contemplating whether or not to sit next to her. Would she be okay with that? It wouldn't be a big deal, would it? She'd been willing to hold hands and hug affectionately, yeah, but both of those had been in the dark and while no one else was around to witness it, coincidentally.

But there I was, second-guessing myself over the simple act of just sitting down next to someone; I was somewhat terrified by what I would do when I was given the chance to kiss her, or anybody, for that matter (but I hoped it was her, I really did by this point). Like Cyborg said, I'd grown a pair for asking her out… maybe being a little courageous wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't that big of a gamble anyway, right? Why am I asking you? I'll put it succinctly: I did sit near her, but not to the point where we were touching or anything. Just close, that's all. But I was surprised when she met me halfway.

* * *

Yes, I did meet him halfway. I didn't know I was doing it, if that's not humiliating enough, but I saw his arm draped over the back of the couch and suddenly I'd magically scooted over to his side; our hips were touching timidly, and since neither of us drew away, I pushed in a little more… I wasn't exactly hanging all over him, but we were making ample body contact, I thought. I was close enough to feel that his heart was noticeably palpitating through his ribcage, at least. Don't doubt for a minute that I wasn't blushing on the inside, but years of practice had me comfortable in my habitually stoic façade. But, here's the problem: it's been so drawn-out, you probably think this took a minute, all of this "sitting together" bullshit; it didn't; it was within a matter of seconds, so fast you'd blink and miss it. Talk about over-complicating things.

But, besides all that, having the television to focus on made it easier for me not to make eye contact with everybody else in the room… Beast Boy, however, was not that lucky to have such a plausible excuse for a distraction. It wasn't all that bad; Romeo and Juliet over yonder were still in a daze of romance with each other, and maybe it was better that Robin didn't yet see the implications of a (dare I say it?) possible relationship between me and Beast Boy, but Cyborg had wandering eyes, and out of the corner of my own eye, I could see a deliberate, knowing smirk plastered on his face. Beast Boy made a motion with his arm (I think he may have flipped Cyborg off, amazingly enough) and Cyborg chuckled before turning back to the control panel exposed on his arm.

The damage, however, was already done; Starfire was still in a state of amorous stupor, but Robin had perked up, and though I doubted he would make any immediate comment, I figured the both of us would soon be expecting a visitor to our bedrooms, standing with arms crossed and lecturing about how risky dating another Titan could be. Fairly hypocritical of him, I know, but, as leader, he had his reasons, and I could respect that. But it was still going to be a major pain in the ass to deal with him, don't get me wrong.

We settled into this gratefully lazy morning atmosphere for what I'd say was about two hours before we were thrust back into crime-riddled reality; for once, no supervillian had decided that they had been on too long of a hiatus since their last felony, but it was a mere group of six punkass low-lives who'd watched _Heat_ too many times and figured they could get off with a heist. Did they realize this was Jump City? Did they ever realize that five superheroes would gladly punch the ever-loving shit out of them within seconds of committing a crime? Honestly, I swear some people have true moral handicaps; the petty delinquents never seemed to learn to just _give up_, that they weren't going to ever win. Ever. At all.

Then again… I do admit all things in one way or another happen to serve a purpose… if not always that clear to anyone else. Guess whose turn it was to (grudgingly) babysit our little troop of wannabe thieves? The Boy Wonder and his trusty girlfriend, of course. Okay, that sounded really harsh, so I'll just take it back (besides, how did Cyborg always seem to be able to dodge out of that chore? I was puzzled to no end); in any case, both Beast Boy and I would have sufficient time to quickly choose something for a second date while we could still get out of the Tower and away from Robin's impending good-intentioned opposition. I know I said before that we're good friends, and I believe in that wholly, but I was only being a _little_ selfish, damnit; he didn't need to be a killjoy. He didn't need to be.

So where? Where could we go? Cyborg had headed down to his garage for his hobby, and Beast Boy had been putting in a video game when he saw I was leaving for my room. It was on my bed I lay, pondering these questions. Both of us were quite capable of flight and traversing long distances; I imagined we could go rather far, if the destination called for it. But there was the age-old question of where the hell do you go, given that both of you are perfectly willing to try another date? We'd already done dinner, and I was (admittedly) more or less expecting Beast Boy to recommend something as mundane as hanging out in or around the Tower for the remainder of the day; what could we do to have fun and still be thankfully far away from home (and in the middle of the day, as well)? But I answered myself, finally having a revelation.

This worked wonderfully, amazingly well. Not to toot my own horn. (Savor that image, why don't you?)

* * *

I was just playing the video game to pass time, honestly; it was boring most of the time at the Tower, despite what you would believe, and even with the self-assured gossipy nature of dating Raven, there wasn't much to do, except when some psychopath decided to take over the world or anything else connected with crime. Otherwise, we were left to our own devices. And what do teens do when they're left to their own devices, especially when they're not all of the same gender? You've got a sick mind. I hadn't partaken in that yet, but the first morning Starfire had walked out of Robin's room had been… interesting, to say the least. That left three of us. Raven? I liked her, but just sort of sitting around and reading books was more her speed. Cyborg had the dual infatuations of cars and gaming, plus I figured there had to be something going on between him and some girl that we didn't know about, be it Sarah Simms or Jinx or whoever. So that left me. Comics, video games, or paying extra attention to my "collection"? "Cleaning your rifle", "holding your sausage hostage", "jerking your turkey", whatever you use as a euphemism for it, it's still the same dirty thing, and don't kid yourself; a lot of people do it.

But that day… video games; I would say for the sake of a PG-13 rating—at the bare minimum. It wasn't that bad of a game… fairly new, and still unbeaten as of yet… but I wanted to go out, smell the fresh air, stretch my legs, and maybe see if Raven wouldn't mind bumping that second date up to earlier, like then and there. What can I say? I was anticipating a kiss, even though that might have been a bit too bold of me; maybe not too passionate, like with tongue or anything else on the over-adventurous side, but a kiss, at least. Damn me and my stupid heart for having any hope… but yeah… that was what I was looking for.

I don't know how long it'd really been when Raven tapped me on the shoulder, but it felt like only minutes had passed since she'd just about abandoned me (I wasn't pissed or anything like that, though) to go to her room. Plus, she'd snuck up on me; she had the natural possible-comical-situation advantage of being able to float around silently, and Raven wasn't that loud of a person in the first place, so you don't blame me for jumping two feet in the air and letting out a mildly high-pitched shriek, followed by a rather painful and one-in-a-million fall that left me with the worst headache in the world and hazy vision for a full five minutes, do you? Yeah, screw you too and thank you very much.

"Accident-prone, are we?" she said, smiling that little smile of hers, and offered a hand. I was careful in grabbing it and pushed myself up cringing; my hand immediately went to the back of my head, but I just rubbed it and laughed it off.

"Yeah, I guess so. You wanted my attention? Heh," I said, still rubbing the sore spot at the back of my skull. Later on, an egg swelled up at the back of my head, and it hurt like a bitch, sure, but without it maybe the course of events of that day might not have occurred; who really knows?

"I have a great idea for a second date. Would you be willing to go now?"

"Uh… yeah, if I could go run back to my room to get some money. What'd you have in mind?"

"A movie and eating out afterward. Here's my compromise: if you choose one, I choose the other, and we both pay for whatever we picked, deal?" It sounded fair to me.

"Yeah, sure, I'm game. Which do you want?"

"Since you took me out to eat last time, I think I'll treat you to a meal. I trust you with picking the movie though, all right?" I nervously snickered a little bit and nodded, still caressing my aching head. Anything too ridiculous was out the door, then; I couldn't imagine trying to put her through _The Expendables_ (although I'd kind of been looking forward to seeing it). I figured comedy was probably the best choice (was there anything besides _Piranha 3-D_ at the movies that was in the horror genre? I didn't think so, honestly). But I had a notion of what I could pick. I'd heard good things about it from friends, so maybe there was hope yet.

I grabbed a safe amount of thirty bucks and put it in my magic pocket (it's hidden, and no, I can't tell you where it is or else you could pickpocket me someday, since I would be all unsuspecting and the like); I imagine Raven has one too, because hers just sort materialized out of nowhere when she paid for dinner… then again, Raven _is_ a witch, so she could put it in some black hole or whatever… wow, I'm really stupid. But that was later. What came first was Kirsch Theater.

It's one of those theaters that looks like it's been around forever and they used to do vaudeville or whatever in it, but that's a big load of crap; I think it's been around since the late seventies or something, with barely any claim to historical significance except for the crap that it uses to draw in potential customers. It's a lot of deceptive exterior modeling, really; otherwise, though, the inside is fairly big, there are a good amount of screens, and the admission isn't that expensive, plus we both knew where it was and how to get there easily.

When we touched down, I could feel her eyes on me, maybe trying to decipher a little bit what I was going to choose. Hopefully, she would be fine with it; hell, I prayed for it, for the sake of our future and the rest of the day. But I had deliverance yet: when I asked the sleepy ticket vendor for two tickets to see the 12:30 showing of _The Other Guys_, she seemed visibly relieved. Funny movies almost always worked for dating; even if they sucked unbelievably, you could still get some laughs out of poking fun at its ridiculously poor quality. It was just a pleasant surprise that it was actually hilarious and made us both laugh pretty hard ("I'm like a peacock, you gotta let me fly!"), but an even more satisfying surprise when I felt her head sink onto my shoulder halfway through. We'd gone back to holding hands easily, but you don't know how happy it made me to be able to lean on her like that. You really don't know, and I'm very sorry that you don't.

When the movie ended, which I think was around quarter after two, I turned keenly to my date (we were still holding hands, may I mention), and she returned my gaze steadily.

"So… what were you thinking of… for lunch/dinner?" I said, inadvertently rubbing her thumb in our clasped hands when I went to scratch my finger. I felt a rush of blood race through my body when she affectionately copied me before speaking.

"I know a sushi place that's pretty vegetarian friendly. It's in walking distance, too; does that sound good to you?"

"Yeah! Dude, that sounds great! You rock," I exclaimed, giving her a candidly adoring look, and she actually blushed.

* * *

The sushi place, Suzuki Grill, was an art deco, modern-influenced sort of restaurant; it was fairly new, and I'd eaten there before (best dragon roll in my entire life, seriously), but, like how Beast Boy had thought of me with that book café, I thought of him as I was sitting there, looking at the menu and wondering if he would enjoy cucumber sushi. We arrived in no time, and what with it being such an odd, in-between time, there was nobody else there. The hostess led us to a table, left behind chopsticks, and tended to our needs as much as possible before we ordered; I always thought Japanese people were so amazingly awesome. We had nice seats, right next to the gigantic aquarium, and since I knew he wouldn't be able to restrain himself, I didn't mock Beast Boy when he started making ridiculous fish faces at the open-eyed marine life.

Such a child. But it was in a curiously charming and endearing way, if that doesn't sound insane enough. I guess when you really like someone, you don't pay much attention to their faults… or if you do, you learn to accept them peacefully. That's what I've heard, anyway (I've never been in love, and that's forlornly easy to admit). Quickly enough, though, he came back to reality to give his order to the waiter; as a surprise, I spun edamame on him as an appetizer. It's really great: they're immature soybeans that get boiled with salt and other ingredients in their pods, and then you consume them, except you have to pop out the soybeans inside the pod for eating with your mouth and suck the outside of the pod for its salt, to add flavor. He wolfed half of them down before I could barely finish my first.

Of course, we were talking the entire time (mostly about trivial things that didn't seem so insignificant once we decided to have a conversation about them), but at one point we were just sucking on the edamame, and suddenly this song came on; I couldn't place who it was, but the beat was heavy and synthesized, almost like a mechanic metronome, and her emotional voice ached with the stress that there was love out there for you. Listening to her, you would believe it. At first, I thought I was the only one really listening, but then I saw Beast Boy's head tilt as well, and we both just sort of looked at the ceiling, taking in this amazing song.

"Who sings that?" he said when the song sounded as if it was near its end. I considered it for a moment, and made an educated guess.

"I think it might have been Björk," I stated, and he nodded heavily, still looking up at the ceiling with what I believed to be awe shining in his eyes. That was what convinced that I was going to kiss him that day, whether it was in that moment or later; something just seemed so right, seeing him so obviously touched by the song like I was. His hand was resting on the table, and with the utmost control I reached for it, curling my fingers underneath his gently. He was usually jumpy with stuff like that, but this time he just looked down at the hand, and then lifted his eyes to stare into mine. I didn't pussy out on smiling, for once; I could feel it reaching out wide, stretching muscles in my face that didn't get exercise that often. And he mirrored me, killing me with his insanely cute grin.

Maybe we were just teenagers, but don't even try to dismiss that moment, don't you dare. It was wholesome and incredible and fulfilling in so many ways; I swore nothing would be able to break it, that this mere particle in the vast expanses of time's desert of sand would be crystallized into the most indestructible diamond in the world, in the universe even… and then the cash register exploded. No fire, no smoke; just, boom, gone, nonexistent. The hostess looked deeply shocked but she was perfectly fine on the outside, and they quickly threw out the remains. I cursed to myself mentally and focused heavily on meditating; the atmosphere, despite being disrupted by the combustion, helped me, and so did the calm massaging of my fingers by Beast Boy that I only noticed after my mind had calmed down. God, I was blushing all the time like some typical anime-girl caricature (I could _feel _it; I could _feel_ the hot blood pooling around my cheekbones).

"You okay?" he said finally; the waiter, looking a little wide-eyed, set down our platters, and we both quietly thanked him (I decided later on to tip a good bit extra, considering I'd accidentally caused some property damage). I breathed in tranquilly and nodded. "Good. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be, don't be sorry at all. This is just so… exhilarating… do you know what I mean?" He squeezed my hand warmly.

"Yeah, I do."

Yearning and unwilling to defect to our meals, both of us grudgingly broke holding hands to eat our sushi, but we stayed heartily involved in our conversation the whole time. It ended well, too; the hostess encouraged another visit by the two of us as we walked out, but then again I'm not all that sure she knew it was me who had accidentally detonated their cash register. Oh well; what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

Checking his phone (where in hell did he keep his stuff? I'm a witch, I have the ability to pull my belongings out of nowhere, but he always seemed to materialize his things from pockets that didn't exist on his outfit), Beast Boy let out a resounding whistle.

"Wow; it is (I'm not even kidding you) five forty-two. Did we actually spend three hours in there? It felt like an hour, at the most."

"Time flies in pleasant company."

"You're telling me," he said, bouncing his eyebrows in an imitation that sounded and looked remarkably like Groucho Marx. I made a face at him and we both laughed. I'd figured I could wait and give him my little present when we got back to the Tower, maybe sitting together on the roof or something along those lines, but it was just so spur of the moment that I really couldn't stop myself; like a rattlesnake, I snapped my head in front of him and pressed my lips against his, relishing his softness and how easily we puckered together. It wasn't long, wasn't guilty, but sufficiently engaging, and the wet little pop when we drew away was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. Both of us were close to practically having heart attacks, I could tell.

"Wow," he whispered; I agreed silently, and he dived in for another, still innocent but dangerous to our steadily increasing adrenaline levels. Maybe it wasn't the most magical place to have a first kiss, outside a sushi place and on a city street where varied littering, flattened gum and the occasional dog-shit accented the sidewalk, but even so, nothing could've detracted from how magnificent it was, how much better it was in actuality than in your imagination.

I found out that song in the restaurant's name later. It was, in fact, sung by Björk, and it was called _All Is Full of Love_; it was about realizing that love was all around you and that you just needed to accept it. Well, I did, and holy _shit_, was it something.


	4. A Girl Like You's Just Irresistible

Disclaimer: Not one of these characters belongs to me, or the franchise, or anything else that can plausibly be contested for in court, like the Pixies or Fratellis song. I OWN NOTHING. :P

* * *

A Girl Like You's Just Irresistible

* * *

"_The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender." –Emil Ludwig_

* * *

Both of us came back to the Tower that day grinning like idiots, almost hopped up on the natural drug of flourishing love: these were not flowers of psychedelic origin but the blossoming flora of our hearts; these were not stars of hallucination but the distant suns of our future; these were not colors of altered perception but the incandescent hues of our passion; these were not bodies and people we lived through, but forms and gods we persisted through, sliding the little jigsaw pieces together to make a complete and total whole.

And we'd only had our first kiss, and not even a big passionate one at that. Talk about strong feelings, huh? Still, luck was with me; this (very nearly but not quite a) trance that had descended upon me somehow restrained the destruction that surely should have entailed such openly intense emotions. Well, what could I do? I felt good for once, damnit, and it wouldn't have been fair to stifle myself for the sake of not blowing shit up. Yes, okay, I get it, "nothing in life's fair", but that doesn't stop a lot of people from bitching about it anyway, does it? Besides, for once something actually was moderately fair.

It was later when we were heading up the elevator; more than likely past seven, and dark enough to be reasonably called nighttime, but not terribly late to the point of "you shouldn't be walking around at this hour, the city's way too dangerous" or anything like that. Moreover, Beast Boy had materialized his iPod, and the two of us were bopping along with _Velouria _by Pixies, practically deaf to everything around us, so we could be forgiven for not hearing someone calling our names at first, right?

"My Velouria, my Velouria, even I'll adore ya! My Velouria…" I sang under my breath, taking care not to bobble my head too violently or else the headphone would've fallen straight out of my ear. We were listening together, but listening to music is naturally a kind of solitary experience, and even though he was mouthing the lyrics alongside me, he seemed to be drifting into himself. Nothing was really wrong with that, of course, but if he'd been paying attention I probably would've given him something to pay attention _to_. Yes, yes, I know, that sounds dirty and on the verge of (kind of) disgustingly adult in situation, but what can I say? Infatuation was simultaneously stimulating and numbing me, making this wonderful paradox where I could feel and not destroy at the same time, and I was willing to carry it as far as it could possibly go. I could deal with consequences easily; it was just a matter of being in the moment, _truly_ in the moment, and me trying to explore it as feasibly (or, rather, feebly) as I could… and enjoying _Velouria_, as well, although that was just sort of a delightful little bonus, an extra treat for the two of us. Damnit, I just said "delightful" and didn't want to kill myself; you know that's when either something seriously wrong upstairs or you're probably in love. Or is there that much of a difference between the two?

A bit early to say you're in love, you say; well, that's exactly what I say, too, and when I had that enthusiastic little thought I almost immediately rebuffed myself, even to the point of being vicious about it. _What the hell are you thinking? _I thought, or rather Common Sense thought. _Who the hell do you think you are, or what, for that matter, because the Raven I know isn't a stupid little girl who throws around the L word way too easily over some guy she's been dating for, ooh, what is it now, TWO whole days? Or not even that, really; in reality, you've been dating a grand total of one day from end to end… one pathetic little day, and you're going to start that shit already? Really, Rae, come on, just get a damn grip about this whole thing._

_Shut up, _I replied honestly, or rather Affection thought. _Shut up and leave me the hell alone. It was just an innocent little thought, a measly word running fleetingly through my mind, and absolutely nothing else; you have no right to cut me down like that, not that severely, and I have every right in God's green world to feel whatever the hell I want to feel. It's not even a sure thing, anyway, so you might as well just go and piss your brains off at somebody else instead, because _I_ am not going to let _you_ and your little no nonsense hissy fits screw up my good mood. So, without further ado, you can (if I do say so myself) stuff it, pardon my French and thank you very much._

_You're so frigging full of shit, _Common Sense laughed.

_Go choke yourself to death, bitch, _Affection retorted dryly. Pretty serious, I know.

So, you see, what with all this tumult in my head and the music blocking out my ears and Beast Boy just sort of guiding us along… well, I was pretty much on cruise control, to put it simply; you know what it's like, to just sort of coast through things, restricting your perception to focus on something entirely within yourself and letting the tide of wherever you're going push you like a helping hand. You're oblivious to everything, adrift in the sea of consciousness, and no one can really catch your attention unless they rip you out of your stupor. And believe me, I was ripped out.

Or, rather, my earphone was, as well as Beast Boy's; while I was coming to, I could hear his cry of protest and vaguely saw him squabble to draw them into a tight cocoon around his iPod out of the corner of my eye. I started to "wake up" also, and noticed with a start that we were standing in the middle of a dark hallway. The "we" included me, Beast Boy, and our renowned, fearless (and occasional-hardass) leader Robin. Thankfully, he didn't look pissed, but he wasn't exactly smiling rays of sunshine, either, and I could see the warrant in his eyes (or domino mask, really) for a "discussion". This meant a lecture. Great, absolutely perfect, just what the doctor ordered: a kid who couldn't ever take his mask off reprimanding me for being attracted to someone else, despite the exceedingly suggestive nature of his relationship with his girlfriend and the blatantly-observed occurrences where they could be found walking out of the same bedroom, often coupled with the complaints of those with private quarters located nearby of "loud noises in the middle of the night". Sorry to sound so testy, but the hypocrisy of what was surely to come enflamed me, and rightly so.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Beast Boy protested, looking visibly put-off. Maybe it was because his iPod had been in danger, or maybe it was because he wanted to kiss me good night; I didn't know, couldn't even. Robin, however, responded by holding up his hands.

"Nothing, nothing at all, I just wanted to get your attention. Seeing as how cranky you are, though, I'd probably suggest you go to bed, Beast Boy."

"Dude. Are you seriously sending me to bed?"

"Seriously. Of course, whether you go to sleep or not doesn't matter much to me; either way, you're getting an early wake-up call tomorrow morning." Beast Boy's face nearly slid down to the floor, so incredulous was he.

"Dude, you're waking me up early? What the f—!"

"You've been sleeping too late recently. I can't have you sleepy on the job, can I? Then you're putting us all in danger… dude." Even though I was somewhat dreading talking to Robin, I had to admit, it was amusing to see him talk circles around Beast Boy. Vehement, Beast Boy scowled and flipped off Robin over his shoulder as he stomped away. He had run away massively pissed off… and now I was alone with Robin; I had a feeling Dick was going to be a dick (ha ha, play on words).

"So what do you want? I'm prone to losing interest," I said. Monotone's easy to hide behind, but he smiled knowingly and leaned against the wall. I preferred to stand in the middle of the hallway with my arms crossed, but he looked too damn comfortable and I found myself mimicking him not long after he began to speak.

"You and BB, huh?" Sigh.

"Yeah… that's the gossip on the street now, isn't it?"

"Pretty much. Everyone's too bored around here to have much else to talk about, sadly enough. You and Beast Boy are a pretty hot topic compared to, oh I don't know, Star and me."

"That's just what I wanted, some attention for my love-life; now I can die happily. Woo-hoo."

"Don't we all? Listen, though; I know you think that I'm just here to reprimand you for putting the team in danger because relationships are dangerous things to be in as superheroes, which they are, but then I'd be a _massive_ hypocrite, let's face it… so, all I'm really going to say is, try not to piss each other off really bad or do anything that would make things too uncomfortable. Otherwise? You pretty much have my blessing."

"Really? That's it?"

"Yeah, that's it. You thought I was going to be a dick, didn't you?"

"Admittedly."

"Ah. My reputation precedes me. Speaking of hypocrisy, I think somebody's waiting for me in my room… you might want to calm down Beast Boy, too, although I do fully intend to wake him up early tomorrow morning."

"I will, but just remember you're kind of a bastard, okay?"

"I highly resent and fully accept that," he deadpanned, walking off with a wave of his cape; Robin kind of had understated humor, the kind you had to really, truly pay attention to for catching it, and even then, sometimes you wouldn't. But he'd raised an interesting point too… maybe I would pay Beast Boy a little visit. To his room. Alone. In the shadow of the night. Yeah, it sounds shady to me too, but believe me, I'm not the kind to put out so early or easily, and Beast Boy's not a rapist, so sorry, no fornication that night for you to fantasize about. But, still, I was disposed to going to his room, and nothing was going to stop me.

* * *

What a dick, whaaaaaat a _dick_, what an asshole, whaaaaaat an _ass_, what a piece of shit, what a bastard, whaaaaaat a _bastard_! Who did he think he was, sending off to bed at—at a quarter to eight, not even _close_ to the time I usually go to sleep? I mean, yeah, he's team leader, sure, but who the hell did he think he was, that unnaturally silver-tongued son of a bitch, telling me to go to (get this, get this, it's a real big _frigging_ shocker, or at least I know I was) _bed_? What, did he think he was my goddamn mother? Buuuuullshit, he was; you look me in the eyes and tell me there wasn't anything in that conversation that entirely demeaned me as a person. You can't? Good. Because _neither can I_.

I refused to piss off at myself, though, and gave up in a pathetic act of defeat, collapsing on my bed (kinda awkwardly, too, because my "collection" was still sprawled out across the covers). Could I trust that Robin would somehow be keeping watch over my room, to make sure I didn't wander out when I thought the coast was clear? It was a half-and-half situation; on one hand, I figured he'd probably have "other business" to tend to with a certain Tamaranean, probably in his room (occasionally in her room too, though, but I guess it didn't matter much for them; they had an entire Tower to work with, really)… on the other hand, though, he could really be hardass sometimes, and I would not have put it past him to seriously be hovering around the outside of my door. The only way to know was to see if he was pulling sentry duty, and I knelt down as I stealthily peeked my head out of my door, taking extra care not to move too quickly (kinda like a mouse sneaking around a snake).

You'll forgive me for jumping when all I could see was this looming shadow standing in front of me, right? It's startling, believe me, and it didn't help that being close to the ground made the shape seem all that more enormous; I did however, thankfully, fall backwards, and I suppose that's kinda better than falling onto somebody else, right? I mean, I think it's a lot less gauche (ha ha, I used a fancy word) to just sort of be sprawled out on the floor by yourself than getting all tangled up in somebody's legs… look, I don't know how to explain it, okay? Jesus, what do you want from me, an essay?

But, hopefully, you've forgiven me already; the shape stifled what I think was chuckle before offering a hand to hoist me up. Fortunately it wasn't one of Robin's infamous "green gloves of justice" (at least, that's what I called them, but don't tell him that), but it did happen to be a grey hand with a circle of purple cloth surrounding its wrist, and there was no mistaking who was standing in front of me. I bounced up easily, brushing down my chest and grinning sheepishly.

"What're you doing here?" I said, biting my lip a little. I'm not that big, but I was trying as much as possible to cover the doorway and block her view of the disorganization in my room, specifically the lewd pictures thrown askew all over my bed (think about it; a teenage boy alone in a room, with slight pornographic pictures strewn all about… it wouldn't help my reputation at all if she was to see the photographs, even from a reasonable distance). "Did Dick live up to his name for you too?"

She shook her head. "No, he was fine. He just wanted you to leave, that's all."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms angrily, leaning against the doorframe. "Well, he could've just _asked_, God; I would've gone, you know that."

"Yeah, I know that… but he did say he meant entirely to wake you up tomorrow."

"ARE YOU FU—no, you know what? Never mind. Whatever; screw him, I don't care, I'll just hide behind all the garbage, he'll never be able to find me."

"That's the spirit."

"So, seriously though, what are you doing here? You kinda freaked me out a little, floating around my door and all."

"A little?" she said, raising an eyebrow. Shit.

"Yeah, okay, you made me fall on my ass, happy?" She let out one solitary little giggle, but, still, it was enough for me. "Ha ha! Now that you've laughed at my expense, you _have_ to answer me. Standard procedure, you know."

"I was about to knock, actually, before you decided to sneak out of your room like a rat. I was supposed to come and talk you down from your anger, but, seeing as you're reasonably calm, I think my purpose here is rather done."

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Really?"

"No. That's a really shitty excuse to leave someone in the dust, and both of us know that. You should probably invite me in, though, or else I think I'll just float away."

"Remember, it was your suggestion that you come in," I said, leery of letting her through but still sliding away from the door.

"I recognize that," she replied, stepping in (it was kinda like Star Trek, watching Raven take the first few faltering steps into my room, "boldly going where no woman had gone before") and stopping almost immediately. "Remind me, again, how you manage to live?"

I shrugged embarrassedly. Luckily, however, she seemed drawn towards the mountain of comics by the door, and while she was preoccupied I threw all of my "collection" into hidden places (under the covers and under the bed, mostly), quickly enough that when she turned around again all I was doing was standing innocently by the stack of video games. Suddenly, I noticed that she hadn't really been looking at the comics but playing with my iPod; at the moment, The Fratellis were playing, and I think it was _Whistle For The Choir_ that was playing.

"No books, huh? How did you know the quote from _Alice in Wonderland_, then?"

"What? Oh yeah, the raven and the writing desk. I saw the movie that came out recently, the one with Johnny Depp."

"Ah, yes, I forgot about that one. How was it? I never found time to go see it," she said, walking closer. I didn't notice that at the time, though; I was just grateful that I'd been fast enough to throw away the pictures before she could even catch a glimpse of them.

"Uh, it was pretty good, I guess. I mean, Tim Burton did pretty well with it, especially with all the designs and everything… and the girl playing Alice wasn't bad at all… what's her name…?" I said. She was advancing, but, yet again, I was blind.

"Mia Wasikowska. She's Australian, actually."

"Really? Huh. You know, I never would've thought so. Do you—?" I didn't get to finish my sentence, because she had (once again) been the more courageous one and had enough guts to kiss me. But that was just it, though; I'd been expecting another innocent one, nothing more than a peck, and at first it was just that… but her hands… one crawled up to my neck, caressing the little hairs that evened out my neckline, and the other remained anchored to my hip, pulling me in slightly. It was cautious, ever so cautious, but she opened her mouth, and I did the same, not caring much to think about what I was doing. Before I knew it, our tongues were touching, and I could feel how gooey it was… but it was still so amazing at the same time, and all of a sudden they were whirling around each other, and I was pulling her in closer, and just like how her hands were rubbing my neck and my side, mine were rubbing her hips, getting dangerously close to her butt. Would I? Could I? We were close now, so much as the front of our bodies were thoroughly touching, and we switched our heads' positions, once more taking up to exhilarating practice of tongue wrestling. I was wary of my fang, but insofar as we had done, she had not shown any sign of being hurt, and I was ravenous for her heat, for her tongue, for her body pressing against mine so sweetly. Cruise control: suddenly, we were on the bed, supported by a mattress, and she was on top of me, and she shifted in such a way that I couldn't help but put my hands on her ass, but the two of them seemed too much for one place, and the other snaked its way up to her hair, where I groomed my fingers through her purple locks, pleasuring in how soft they were. She didn't seem to mind, not at all; in fact, her hand, the one that hadn't been resting on my neck, was playing across my chest, and it seemed to be descending. Where had her cape gone? It seemed to have fallen off in our make-out session, or perhaps she'd unclasped it herself… either way, nothing blocked my hands for running up and down various places on her back. Her wandering hand seemed to have reached my ribs; still we kissed, forceful in each others' mouth, and whenever one of us would draw away slightly, the other would grab hold somehow with their teeth, be it on their tongue or on a lip… either way, something would pop wetly, and then we'd be back at it, except our heads would be leaning the opposite way this next time. Now it was on my stomach, fiddling right over my belly; I, myself, had decided to trace my hands down her thighs, loving how strong and how real they felt in my grasp. Her hand was now over my belt, dancing down the length of my torso, and I could feel her already fast heartbeat thump even harder (how she managed not to make anything explode is beyond me); what was she so nervous about? But I knew quickly enough. I think you know where her hand went, you pervert, but I don't dare say it aloud. Still, I was feeling rather "stiff" afterwards, and like a phantom, my hand floated up to caress her breast. Neither of us had been expecting to go so far, I think, but there we were, touching the things the other had never touched before. I swore I was going to have a heart attack or something; this was too much in one night for my weak, pubescent heart to take.

Reluctantly, both of us drew away from our never-ending kiss (it'd been going on non-stop much longer than it seems written down) and stared into each other's eyes. She looked so beautiful with her hair falling down around her face like that.

"Did we really just do that?" she breathed, looking a little red in the face (either shame or from exertion, I couldn't tell); I nodded, breathing hard as well. "Did… did you like it?"

"Yeah… I liked it a lot. You?" I said, smiling slightly.

"You wouldn't believe how much," she said, affectionately returning the smile. "I think I should probably go back to my room now. Before…"

"I know. I'm not offended at all, believe me. Besides, it's—HOLY SHIT, we've been making out for close to two hours." She gave me a disbelieving look and I nodded fervently, showing her my phone. Raven nodded, looking a little dazed, collected her cloak and put it on, keeping her back to me the entire time. She walked to the door with dignity, but when she opened it, she turned to me holding the biggest grin I'd ever seen on her face.

"That was… heavenly," she said.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was," I replied.

"Good night, Beast Boy," she whispered, shutting the door.

"Sweet dreams, Rae," I responded, blissfully falling back onto the bed when the door had completely shut. I knew I was going to have sweet dreams that night, all right; dreams of a girl with purple hair and grey skin and a smile that could make you cry, plaguing my subconscious with all of her beauty and feminine charm.

Talk about a goodnight kiss. The iPod had shut off long ago, somewhere in the midst of me exploring the rather shapely body of Raven while we passionately made out, but I could still remember the song she'd put on right before she'd made her move. It was called _Whistle For The Choir_, and it's about a guy hoping that the girl he likes would return his feelings. Well? She did. The lyrics were swimming in my head as I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

_You're so sweet to try, oh my, you caught my eye_

_A girl like you's just irresistible._


	5. She Doth Teach the Torches to Burn

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, I own Teen Titans… in some other, far-off dimension, of course; don't own them or anything else that could possibly be lawfully contested for. Especially the Shakespeare references, although I would like to own his stuff. :) Oh, and, yeah, ancient Greek guys were allowed to be in relationships with young boys. Creepy, right?

* * *

She Doth Teach the Torches to Burn Bright

* * *

"_No sooner met but they looked; no sooner looked but they loved; no sooner loved but they sighed; no sooner sighed but they asked one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason but they sought the remedy." –William Shakespeare_

* * *

When Robin snuck into my room the morning after, he was noticeably surprised to see me already awake, albeit reclining on my bed and wearing a silly grin on my face. At first, he merely stood in the middle of my messy room, looking unsure (a look that didn't grace his face that often, I'll tell you that much); I figure he didn't have that much patience for standing around like that, though, because it seemed fairly soon when he resorted to shaking me. I pushed him away wordlessly and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. My cheek fell into my waiting hand as I reminisced happily, and once again, he stood uncomfortably in front of me; this time, however, he ventured to communicate with me (instead of shaking me like a goddamn rag doll).

"Are… are you all right? I have to say, you look a little out of it, Beast Boy… been up for a while?"

"Yeah," I said, not entirely listening.

"Really? Well, that's certainly an improvement… are you sure you're all right? Maybe I was wrong… maybe you should go back to sleep, after all."

"Yeah," I said.

"What time did you go to sleep last night, Beast Boy? I know I sent you away at around eight, but surely you went to sleep later than that?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Okay. Do you sometimes have wild fantasies that all of the food items in our kitchen come to life in the middle of the night, and make passionate love in ritualistic midnight festivities to try and appease their household-appliance gods, all while we sleep soundly and know nothing of it?"

"Yeah," I said.

"That's what I thought," he said, moments before he clocked me in the back of the head. If he told it from his point of view, more than likely it would've been nothing more than a little smack to wake me up, but believe me, it was well beyond the definition of "harmless"; he didn't have to frown at me when I cried out in shock/pain.

"OW! What the hell, dude?"

"You were day-dreaming. It helped, didn't it?"

"Funny definition of 'help'… Jesus, I think you gave me an egg! Ouch."

"Did something happen last night? Is that why you were lost in la-la land, Beast Boy? C'mon, you can come clean; I'm sleeping in the same bed with Starfire half the time, I think I can handle whatever it is that's so blatantly on your mind." On the subject of me and Raven, I'd figured I would come clean to Cyborg first over our "moment", but with the opportunity to let loose and tell somebody right there was too attractive. Plus, Cyborg more than likely would mock me in some way; he was my best buddy, but, damn, could he get on your nerves sometimes.

But, I told him. You know all the saucy details of our encounter, I'm sure, so there's not much point in reiterating what's already been established; still, I tried not to embellish too much in fear of ridicule, but, rather surprisingly, Robin was actually a good listener (maybe Starfire had trained him, I don't know). When I was done, his arms crossed in a gesture to show that he was deep in thought, and when Robin turned back he was smiling the tiniest bit.

"You guys really have it bad for each other, don't you? I mean, Star and I had our thing going on for a long time, but you two really didn't wait around that long to make a move."

"No shit, Sherlock," I said, but it was good-humoredly, believe me. "Well… I mean, I don't know about her, but I haven't been on that many dates. Do you think it's all right? That we made out so soon, I mean."

"You're asking me for romantic advice? Well, that's a first… uh… I don't know what to tell you, Beast Boy, but I'd say just sort of go at a pace that the both of you are comfortable with, all right? Try not to overstep any boundaries or anything like that; if she doesn't want to do something, you're not going to do it, simple enough. And, uh, be careful."

"Why do people always bring that up? Jesus, it's not like I'm not going to impregnate her or anything; I'm not a rabbit, after all."

"Whatever you say. As long as you're up, though, I'd suggest some well-needed exercise in the gym—"

"WHAT?"

"—considering you've been lacking off somewhat in the last few weeks. You asked for my advice, didn't you? I'm just telling you what you need to hear." And, with that, he exited the room, that stupid cape fluttering behind him like a flimsy hand waving goodbye. When he closed the door, I flipped him off, but he'd planted the idea in himself and I knew Robin would not relent on making me fulfill my newly-spun obligation. It sucked, but, it was true.

But did it matter? I could feel the dreamy smile spreading across my face once again; last night I'd French-kissed a beautiful girl, for the very first time _in my life_, and it had been absolutely amazing for the both of us, no doubt about it. Hell, I'd touched her boob _and_ her butt, all in one sitting, without being rebuffed for any of my actions, without any untimely accidents or awkward moments, without a single fault. I mean, when it comes to that stuff, guys are always so much more willing than girls, but that? That was mutual affection and necessity in action, you know what I mean? What? C'mon, don't laugh; I can be imaginative, can't I? Never mind. I probably shouldn't have told you, anyway, really.

Perspective change!

* * *

Subtle segue, huh? I didn't think so, either. But it appears I have the spotlight for the moment, so, might as well run with it. The past few days I'd been lingering around in the Main Ops room, stuck in the sticky amber of a rut, and even though in a way I felt like it had been a catalyst for Beast Boy asking me on a date, I was against the idea of sitting around inside once more. Thus, that morning, I sat upon the roof, feeling the air rush past my skin as I meditated serenely. I was facing toward the sun, eyes closed, breathing in the sediment of the world below. Perhaps the city is a dirty and polluting place naturally, and I won't deny that, but from far up in the sky, separated from the crime and trash? It seems almost peaceful.

Peering down at the distant world from my lofty perch, Shakespeare (the fabled author who may or may not have written his own plays, interestingly enough) crept through my thoughts: "I like your silence, it the more shows off your wonder". Sure, it's a given that the quote may not be the most grammatically correct phrase written, but the guy was alive during the 16th century, they had funny ways of saying things. Plus, it fits the experience of seeing urban areas from far above perfectly. These beautiful architectural wonders, these looming Goliaths of concrete and iron… at ground-level, you're just one ant milling around the millions of others, never mindful of the majestic giants that surround you. It's from airplane windows and satellite imaging, it's from the top of mountains in the distance and strategic monuments like Titans Tower where you _really_ get to appreciate it. And Jump City's a wonder to behold, believe me.

So is Beast Boy. You can snicker at that; I really don't mind. He's skinny, sure, you can see that plainly, but running your hands over him… he seems to be almost paradoxically large, pleasantly fit, sculpted like a Greek statue. You probably know what I mean by that, too; the ancient Greeks had a thing for boys (not going to touch that, no sir, not my problem they were pedophiles), and I feel like it reflected in their artistic pursuits, because every man was a mass of perfection, with their muscles toned to absolute flawlessness and their strong chins accentuating carefully-crafted, overly-handsome faces. Maybe a little over-dramatic, sure, but in my mind's eye, Beast Boy was made of smooth marble.

Then again, I was obsessing like a lovesick little girl, so I quickly rebuffed myself: _You silly bitch. What the hell are you saying, really; I mean _really_? Dear God, you sound exactly like every mediocre romance novelist ever to walk the Earth. What are you expecting next, him to swoop in and carry you up the stairs while you hold your head with the back of your hand and swoon in his arms? Yeah, right, and then being the dramatic hero he's made up to be, he'll carry you into a bedroom and force himself upon you, and even though it sounds a lot like rape, the words of a middle-aged woman who has nothing better to do than to make up various scenarios of clichéd love in assorted (mostly worthless) books will mend any offense the reader could possibly take._

Harsh, right? I kind of had a point, though… I mean, I didn't really think anything good could come from being too theatrical about my feelings for Beast Boy, not to that extent, but maybe a little adoration from time to time was harmless? I thought so, at least.

And what of our pace? People always stress '_Slowly, slowly, don't take it too fast or too far_,' and I understand that, I do, I really do. And yet, I didn't care too much for that counsel. I mean, I wouldn't be going to bed with anyone anytime soon (God, I am _not_ a slut), but some romance and passionate kissing never hurt anybody. I'm a teenager, after all: I know the whole spiel about the frisky birds and the horny bees and the protective plastic and the infectious STD's or STI's or whatever the hell they've decided they're calling them now. I get it. _Entirely_. So I don't touch that stuff, all right? Relax. No worries. Trust that I can keep my legs closed, which I can.

You might think this is rather emotionally-driven and that all sorts of shit should be randomly combusting right about now, but this was me working things out, not getting worked up or upset over them. It seems like it wouldn't work at all, I know, but it was something I did (or at least attempted to do) routinely. Behind this calm countenance, there's always a storm raging in the port; it's just a matter of whether I allow it to ripple into someone else's attention span. Or, sadly, if it gets past my defenses. I can't lie and say it doesn't every now and then.

But being outside is refreshing almost by nature; my place on top of the world was not going to be disturbed, not any time soon. Ever seen _Dead Poets Society_? If you haven't, go and find a way to watch it right now, I highly recommend it; if you have, then good for you, because you'll get what I'm about to say. Remember Walt Whitman? The "sweaty-toothed madman" that Robin Williams commemorated through the picture on top of the chalkboard? Well, besides "O Captain, My Captain" and a bridge in Philadelphia, Whitman was well known for free verse he wrote in a continuously extended book of poetry called _Leaves of Grass_. It's where we got that term, "I Sing the Body Electric" (which sounds kinda cool, really). But remember that part in the film where Robin Williams writes something down on the board and the boys in the class just sort of laugh at what it says? That's another one of his quotes, and it goes like this: "I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world." That's what it was like. I could yell and cry like an animal from so high above the world, and nothing was going to stop me.

Exhilarating, isn't it? Try it sometime, like standing and peering down at the Grand Canyon or on the cold top of a recently-climbed mountain or even over a landfill on top of a construction vehicle with your girlfriend and your best friend (brownie points for the people who know I'm talking about _Garden State_).

My T-Communicator went off, rousing me abruptly from my tranquility. Some asshole was probably robbing a bank or something else petty, more than likely. Small-time criminals had slowly been killing me day by day in my long tenure as a Teen Titan. But, at least I was relaxed. And I had the other night to think about while I was beating somebody to a bloody pulp. That would be nice, too.

Very nice.

* * *

Quick Note: HOLY SHIT, I MISSED YOU GUYS. The combination of getting back into school and my old laptop frying (plus having to get all of my files transferred onto the new one through an external hard drive) prevented me from updating for sooooo long. But I'm back. And hopefully still in business :)


	6. You're My Wonderwall

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. I own nothing. Absolutely nothing. Depressing, isn't it? But yeah. Not mine… even Clock King. He's for real, look it up. :D

* * *

You're My Wonderwall

* * *

"_Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music." –Ronald Reagan_

* * *

In fact, we were not being called to attention against a petty criminal, or at least anything remotely "minor league". My meditation had been broken for fairly good reason; we had a new villain, apparently. Some asshole had _just _missed the big invitations to join the Brotherhood of Evil (and subsequently become a statue of ice), but I'd never seen him around, so maybe he wasn't that big of a deal anyway. Or maybe he was on the east coast most of the time, who knew?

He went by "Clock King". All of these guys had their own little megalomaniac egos to fulfill their narcissism quotas and fetishes/obsessions to make themselves into bigger criminals with bigger characterizations and even bigger heads (and cute, color-coded, matching outfits, too!), and our buddy here was no different. Of course, it was a clock motif: brown three-piece suit (covered with clocks); brown bowler hat (decorated with clocks); a pocket watch (of course); glasses (that looked like clock faces stuck at 3 o'clock); and cane that looked like (you guessed it) a clock hand. Real cute.

As of present, he was holding "Gali's Watch Emporium" hostage. He was leaning on the cane, wielding nothing else but a bag of… well, I didn't know what was in it, but I imagined it was a plethora of watches. Or money. Or both. God, villains and their idiosyncrasies. Anyway, we arrived openly wielding our weapons/natural abilities and ready for combat, and he still remained leaning on his stupid clock-hand cane, smiling toothily.

"Right on time, Titans!" he laughed, swinging his cane like Willy Wonka. Was he a pun criminal? I swore to God then and there that if he carried on with that goddamn "time" routine, I'd personally punch his teeth (and then his lights) out. "You know, I woke up this morning, and I said, _'My, Clock King, it's been such a rather loooong time since you've had a worthy foe to go against. Time is ripe… but only for so long. You can't wait until the ship has sailed to actively pursue nemeses'_."

Beast Boy had landed next to me, and under his breath he remarked, "_I want to punch him in the throat._"

"_I have dibs on those pearly-whites. We can double-team him_," I replied. Beast Boy nodded gravely, and I could see he was suppressing a laugh.

"And then Mr. Gali! Why, I walked by his display case not two days ago, and I saw these marvelous watches, these masterpieces of portable clocks, and I wondered, _'How long is their shelf life?'_ I knew that these little fortunes couldn't be wasted and lose the test of time. So I decided to steal them. And so far, everything has been running perfectly on schedule. I never lose track of time, even when I'm in my natural element, you know; my monologue was just around the corner, and I couldn't _possibly_ be late to entertain my new audience. Thus, I stand before you. Would you like to see if a villain can win against you once in a blue moon? Because, quite honestly my dear Titans… I'm counting on it."

All of this was said with that never-ceasing grin, plastered onto his face (seemingly) with super-glue, and the puns were filling the air more noxiously than any gas-leaking or oil-spilling company could ever hope to plausibly match in pollution. Seems extreme, but believe me, in real life it's annoying as hell just to listen to this guy say two words. And why hadn't we attacked yet? Nothing was barring us from attacking him… I think all of us were slightly entertained by how goofy he was, really. It'd been a while since we'd had anyone as ridiculous as this making a special appearance in town. Looking back on it, he's campy enough to be out of some really bad sixties television show… maybe even one about superheroes, as, like, a one-episode enemy, never seen again on primetime because he just wasn't that memorable. Yeah! That fits him perfectly.

Apparently Robin had been roused from his own trance to suddenly whip out his staff and yell out (with the hint of an amused smile playing across his lips), "TITANS! MOVE!"

* * *

I think you can pretty much tell what happened next.

We beat the living shit out of him.

At first, he did fairly well (some cops we talked to said he was moaning about how hard he'd studied our fight patterns and combat tactics while they were throwing him into his brand new jail cell). Parried a few a jabs, dodged some projectiles… he even made a nice sword-show with his stylized cane, I'm happy to say. But then Starfire and Robin pulled this new move they'd never done before that involved her green lasers mixed in with Robin's taekwondo (it was pretty sick), and Cyborg shot off a massive beam to compliment it. It really knocked the guy back; before he knew it, Raven and I were on him. We'd each promised to assault "Clock King" previously, and it definitely wasn't that serious; just a little roughing up, maybe some bruises and a possibly damaged ego. But it was cool, because we were really in sync with each other.

Okay, it doesn't sound that cool written down, I know; still, in the moment, I think we were both still feeling the afterglow of last night's make-out session, and we looked really synchronized in action. It was like BAM, I'd hit him, and BOOM, she'd throw her orbs at him, and BANG, I'd attack somehow in a different animal form, and THUD, she'd knock him away… it was the dance of violence and affection, if that doesn't sound strange enough. When we were finished and the "Clock King" was moaning safely from the ground (he was wailing "After the fact!" over and over again for whatever reason), the two of us turned around to find that our other three friends were enraptured by our little "performance". Robin and Starfire seemed to be embarrassed caught so obviously observing, but Cyborg grinned cheekily before turning away to focus on the incoming police. Was I going to get shit for it later? Sure. But I had something else to talk about, as well, and I knew he would be shocked to find out I'd been getting a little loving (shut up, I know it sounds dirty) the other night.

Of course, this incident doesn't really seem important, other than to function as another slightly romantic encounter between Rae and I… but there was another thing, too. We'd done it before, away from our friends' wandering eyes, safe in the privacy of the night or at least solitariness (that doesn't sound right, but it's a real word, believe me)—it was such a minor thing too, really nothing compared to kissing—but I reached for her hand, as the cop cars came to a slowing halt in front of the crime-scene… and you know, I think I was expecting a little bit for her to reject me. Not harshly, not spitefully, but she would move her hand away and give me a look and then we would take about "space" or something like that later. I was preparing for it, even.

But she surprised me. She took it eagerly, even chancing a hidden smile when she was sure no one was watching. I would be lying if I didn't say it lit up my day, to be honest (and I didn't really care when people gave us those funny looks young couples always get, all knowing and nostalgic). So there was some point to this asshole challenging us to a fight, at least; our relationship was kind of validated. It was exciting for me, what can I say?

Also, a clip of dialogue we overheard between Robin and Starfire:

R: "We were there on the drop of a hat, huh?"

S: "Where were the droppings of hats, Robin? I did not see them."

R: "I don't think you took that the right way. Uh… he was a day late and a dollar short on running away?"

S: "Friend Robin, this is not the day of tomorrow, nor is anyone in possession of a small dollar bill. You all right, yes?"

R: "Uh… yeah."

Here, both of us thought he would give up (understandably), but apparently, he wasn't quite done with his joking mood.

R: "Never in a million years will the Clock King get out of serving hard time!" (We think this was accompanied by an enthusiastic smile, encouraging any possible laughter)

S: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Friend Robin, you have made a funny! Look, here approaches the King of the Clocks himself! Hahahahaha! He is what we call on Tamaran a "blarfarginuten"!"

You know someone's in love when they're laughing at a joke they don't get at all. If that wasn't love, than I didn't know what was.

Robin laughed too, rubbing his neck contentedly at having "made a funny". Shhh, don't tell anybody I told you, but a little later on I heard noises coming from Robin's bedroom. There was a lot of laughing then (real laughing), and also some moaning. My mind refuses to connect the dots in fear of making me throw up, but I think you can figure it out for yourselves. You can? Good. Tell me later, when I'm not as nauseous.

* * *

Yeah, it happened.

I know this because I was told about it. I didn't ask for it, not at all; it was so completely and wholly uncalled for, and yet I found myself unable to escape the situation. My first mistake was to be sitting in the common room _yet again_ (like I'd said before, I needed to be outside a lot more); my second mistake was probably being open with Beast Boy earlier (although it'd felt really damn good to let loose like that in front of everybody else); and my third mistake was making eye contact. I looked up for a moment, watching Star raiding the fridge absent-mindedly, and before I could revert back into my book, before it could seem like I'd never even noticed her, she glanced over my way. Instantly, the smile I'd been expecting appeared on her face, and she practically teleported next to me on the couch.

With a sigh, I put down my book (_Speak_ by Laurie Halse Anderson, great frigging book) and turned towards the clueless invader of my privacy. She seemed exuberant. I figured I was in for a ride.

"Hello, friend Raven! It has been long indeed since we last spoke. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"This is good, friend Raven! This is mayhap due to the events that occurred the night before, yes?"

I froze in place. "How do you know about that?"

"Friend Robin told me not an hour passed before about your amorous encounter with Beast Boy. Why? I was not meant to know this?"

"Uh… kinda not, actually." He'd told Robin? _Robin_? Okay, Cyborg was more or less anticipated in that situation, but Robin? Why? For what reason? I couldn't tell if I was pissed off or intrigued.

"Oh. Well, as it is said often on Tamaran, 'a gronklefizz cannot ever be detained once it has been released'."

"…Sure." Where was she going to go with this? I prayed like I'd never prayed before that the conversation would just end awkwardly there and leave me only mildly peeved.

"I am very convinced that you are in knowledge of mine and Robin's numerous amorous encounters, yes?"

Oh shit. "Yeah… um, Star, could you—?"

"Friend Beast Boy touches your squishie parts as well when tongues have their dance, or these are only the actions of Robin?"

Should I have just left it all alone there? Should I have dropped all talk and frankly ran away? Well, hell, she was reaching out, but _damn_, I never would've thought I could be faced with something so boldly uncomfortable.

"Yeah. Lots of boys tend to want to do that when you kiss, Star; it just matters whether you want him to or not."

"Ohhhh. I did not know, as Robin has been my only companion, but it is in a comforting nature to find that we are not alone. I suppose you feel for Beast Boy as do I for Robin, hm?"

"I… I think so, actually. Wow. That sounds weird out in the open like that… but yes. I like him like that, Star."

"He makes your heart warm, does he not?" she said (rather knowingly too, I might add). Maybe she couldn't make a sentence for her life, but the girl knew more than I did about her own emotions. I think it had something to do with the fact that she functioned by expressing hers, whereas I survived by fighting mine into submission, but that's a silly thought, isn't it?

"Yes." Succinct, to the point, and totally sincere.

"It is most definitely a nice feeling."

"You've got that right," I replied quietly. The two of us sat still for a few moments, and I thought maybe it hadn't ended so badly; maybe girl talks could be a good thing (in moderation), especially since it was only the two of us. We were close already, sure, but a little bit of dread chilled my blood whenever she approached me about something woman-related, like, say, her period (things get _really_ weird when you're an alien, apparently) or her boob-size (God, that conversation will remain in my mind for the rest of my life). Maybe it wasn't that bad after all. And then she said this:

"You and Beast Boy have been to the bed together? Robin and I have been many times in the bed together by now."

Oh God.

"We're… we're not that far, um, in our relationship… right now… maybe someday, but not right now, no, we don't do that."

"Oh, but friend Raven, you are lacking an experience most wonderful!" she breathed, leaning back into the couch contentedly. On the outside, I showed a small smile, but on the inside I was cursing to the point that a nun would have started to sob noisily as she held her hands to her ears and prayed on her knees for salvation (dramatic, yes, but very true).

"I don't doubt that, actually."

"Why, earlier this day, Robin and I went to bed together; Raven, you will not trust in how sweet he is under the covers, and you do not know that when you—"

"UHHH I think I heard somebody call my name I think Cyborg needs me in his garage or something or on the roof or something I don't know but I have to go so I'll be seeing around okay we'll talk later see you Star bye!"

I ran for my life.

* * *

We ran into each other in the gym. I was there, docking in so that Robin wouldn't be on my back about the lack of exercise (remember that fun little bit of our conversation?); she ran in, glancing wildly over her shoulder for an invisible pursuer, and came to a heavy-breathing stop by the dumbbells. With a sigh of relief, I let the treadmill slow to a stop, and I jogged over to her side (might I add I was _also_ heavily breathing). Both of us took a moment or two before we could actually speak.

"Something (huff huff huff) scare you?" I said.

"Girl (huff huff) talk," she said.

"Do I (huff huff huff) want to know?" I replied.

"Nah. (Huff huff) Did you tell Robin (huff huff) about last night?"

"I had to (huff huff huff) get him off (huff huff) my back."

"Oh (huff huff)."

"Are you (huff huff) mad?"

"Not (huff) really, actually."

"I'm still (huff) sorry."

"Don't worry (huff) about it. Want to work out (huff) together? I think I actually want to (huff) right now."

"Uh… sure, why not? (Huff) You got iPod authority."

"Okay."

So she put on Oasis. Not exactly my choice for getting pumped up, but, then again, I hadn't been exercising by choice until she'd arrived. It wasn't romantic by nature, of course (it was an activity involving sweat, physical exertion, and grunting, but not in THAT way)… and yet, we kind of made it like that. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't checking her out, thinking to myself, _Wow, I had my hands all over that just the other day._ I swear to God I saw her returning the favor, but even if she wasn't, it was fine.

Everything was pretty much fine.

I don't know if she paid much attention to it, but both of us took a break at one point (to drink some water and that kind of thing), and in the background _Wonderwall_ was playing. You probably know the song, it's one of Oasis's biggest hits; we were at the chorus, where it's like "_Because maaaaybe… you're gonna be the one that saves meeeeee… and after allllllllll… you're my wonderwallllllllllll…_", and I just sort of looked at her… her cape was off, hung on the wall by a hook… and even sweaty like that, even flushed with heat… in that leotard, with those curves, and that face… man, she was my wonderwall. She was my wonderwall.


	7. I Want You to Want Me

Disclaimer: I think you guys know the drill by now, but I feel much safer with reiteration: I don't own Teen Titans, and never have I ever claimed to own them. Also note that at the end it gets more than a little… risqué. But I don't write porn, and I want to keep this rated T, so don't worry, hahaha. But seriously though, if you don't like some sexuality, please don't read this, or at least the ending part.

* * *

I Want You to Want Me

* * *

"_Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." –Franklin P. Jones_

* * *

Things got awkward only when Cyborg came barging in on us, really. Before he came into the picture, things were private enough in the gym. It wasn't like we'd been going at it the entire time, either; I mean, sure, it was pretty obvious we were checking each other out and moving closer to each other at every station and glancing around to make sure no one walked in and just sort of warming up to the point where neither us could resist the other any longer (yeah, hahaha, laugh at the horny teenagers, can't control themselves for five seconds). It was still fairly innocent, still at that level we'd set the other night. Maybe I had gotten a little more confident with being handsy, sure, but anyone would, right? ESPECIALLY a dude. C'mon, you have to give me that, at least; I'm gender-inclined to be a little bit perverted at times.

And it was going fine, too; the only moments when our lips weren't glued together were when she would break for a breather, moaning slightly on her way up and rushing back in with even more fervor when she'd had her moment's rest. I did the same sort of thing every now and then. We'd gotten more secure about touching each other downstairs, so much so that we were taking turns playing around. It was funny, too, because both of us only dared to go under the first layer of clothing; underwear remained largely undisturbed, and shapes of things were all that either of us could feel. I think the shapes were still happy about that, though, particularly mine.

A whiney voice in the back of my head warned (as I rubbed my hand softly over her crotch, I might add) that this was too fast. We'd only been dating/together for a few days now, and not even that, really; should we have been going so far, daring to do these lustful things to each other when no one else was around? Was this right, if one took away its pleasure aspect and stared at it nakedly?

I said yeah. I said this as she kissed my neck, biting it softly and toying around with me below like she'd done this hundreds of times before. Because, honestly, we'd lived with each other for years now; everyone in the Tower knew each other, and knew each other well. Who hadn't seen the chemistry boiling behind Robin and Starfire's every interaction? Who hadn't been expecting them to kiss after our little expedition to Tokyo? Who hadn't heard the creaking floor and awkward sounds of pleasure sliding through the doors to Robin's room the first time they ever slept together? (We never told either of them, but us three remaining Titans stood uncomfortably outside the door for ten straight minutes, unsure of whether to go in and make sure they were fighting a monster or not; it was one of the most uncomfortable damn nights of my entire life).

Well, anyway, the point is, we'd been frenemies for quite a bit, friends for even longer, and moving up to that level didn't seem so bad, considering all we'd been through together. It'd always been there; the skip of a heartbeat when we saw each other, the barely-visible blush when we talked, the love-hate relationship that had developed because we were both young and stupid and couldn't express ourselves or our feelings correctly. This was just maturation, simple and clean; we were older now, and when people get older they get more mature feelings, and it seemed only right to fulfill them with each other.

Wow. That's a lot.

Still… I stand by what I said.

But, like I was leading myself to, we were occupying ourselves in solitude nicely enough. It was at this time that I started to fully appreciate the fact that there was no parental supervision in the Tower. I could only imagine what a cock-block that would be. Having some guardian-type or whatever lurking over your shoulder, checking rooms, prudishly preventing any romance… most other teenagers had to sneak out and hide under bleachers or other unsanitary hiding spots to get some tongue every once and a while; Rae and I had the entire Tower, the entire frigging Tower, to work with. I don't think I ever had to worry about privacy, ever. That, alone, put us Titans on a different level than every other teenager in America, even in the world.

Granted having super-powers more than likely contributed to that factor as well, but still. Only in my home could I hit second-base with one of the most beautiful girls in the world and not have to worry about a bat-swinging father walking in on us. True, Raven's dad was a scary-ass demon and almost destroyed the entire damn world, but he was locked away, tightly. Nope, I was clear.

Well, except for the three other people living with us, that is. Robin and Starfire were usually too busy with their own "loving" to even be able to judge any of us for getting some, but so far Cyborg had remained fairly abstinent. Rae and I'd been like that too… up until recently. Now he was the only one who could judge anyone else for being a little pervy on the side.

Understand, please, that for most of our passionate embrace my eyes were closed or only slightly open at times. Most of the things in my peripherals were blurs, and usually the only thing I was really looking at was Raven. I don't know how long he'd been standing there like a voyeur, smirking so smugly like he was. I never cared to ask him afterwards. I didn't care to see him there in the first place. But sure enough, eventually she and I pulled away from each other and settled into a warm hug, and when I drowsily opened my eyes, smiling from ear to ear, there he was, the intrusive bastard.

Cyborg grinned toothily, raising his eyebrows. I scowled and sat back a little. At least we were sitting up in a seat. I could only imagine how much worse it would've been if he caught us sprawled out over each other on the floor.

"What is it?" she said, sounding much softer than I'd ever heard her before.

"Cy," I replied grimly.

She groaned. "_Shit_."

* * *

"Howdy ho, lovebirds!" he laughed. I could hear the satisfaction in his voice at finding us in the middle of an intimate moment. Had he been hanging around for a while? Had he just walked in? In either case, it was embarrassing as hell and I was likely to murder him afterward for intruding, but maybe Beast Boy would beat me to the chase. Either way, it was with heavy indignity and hastily covered blushing that I stood up stiffly, not daring to turn around and face Cyborg.

But God, I was still turned on.

"Do you want the gym?" I said. I still hadn't turned around. I didn't think I ever would, or if I did it would be to quickly fly by into the shadows.

"Well, before I get to my regime I might want to make sure you didn't make any mess—" Cyborg started.

"Do you want it or not? We can leave. Now, if you like," Beast Boy said sharply.

"Agreed," I added.

A pause of silence. "All right then, I guess y'all can go. Just don't sex it up in here next time, huh? Other people live here too, you know."

"…Please don't tell anyone about this, Cyborg," Beast Boy said quietly.

"Pfft. Who do I have to snitch on you to? Those other two? They're worse than you guys, and they've been that way longer. Nah, I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," I said. Still couldn't bear to face him.

"Except maybe Titans East. And North. And maybe even South."

"Dude, screw you!" Beast Boy snarled. Without warning, a chair went flying into the wall. That was my doing; it wasn't on purpose, but still, I think it made the right effect with Cyborg. He shut up pretty much immediately. We stood there for a few moments longer. When I realized nobody was going to make the first move, I held my hand out for Beast Boy's; when he took it, we became transparent, and one phase through the floor took us to another level entirely. Just for my own satisfaction, I took us another extra level down as well. Distance makes me feel better sometimes, what can I say.

It came to be that we were in a room I'd never gone into, the arcade. When Beast Boy and Cyborg hadn't been hogging up the main TV with their usual video games they usually came down to this place. No fare, no coins to get more lives: just endless arcade games, ranging from Pac-Man to House of the Dead. As you can tell, it never interested me in the least. But those two? Oh, they loved it. I think they had wet dreams about it, if someone could get that excited about video games. I wouldn't put it past them.

Or maybe before, when I was younger and much more of a bitch, I wouldn't have put it past Beast Boy. Nowadays, though, he wasn't shaping up to be as much of a geek as I thought he'd been.

Granted, when I turned around to begin talking to him he'd almost immediately ran over to one of the pinball machines, but kids in candy-stores will always eat candy, won't they? I suppose it was the same principle, more or less.

"C'mere, Rae! I have something to show you."

I took my time in hovering over. It was funny; not a few minutes ago we'd been making out fervently, touching each other all over, but now I found it more than a little awkward to come up from behind him and put my arms around his waist. I'd seen couples do that all the time. Even in my more solemn years, I'd always had an itch to try it with someone one day.

It felt very… warm, to say the least.

Beast Boy took it in stride, calmly putting one of his hands over mine and locking them together. I was happy, honestly; at least one of us wasn't a total love klutz when it came to this affectionate stuff. Sure, he was jumpy at certain things, but he could at least let things happen. Me? I think I liked being in control of things too much.

"What is it?" I said, resting my head on his shoulder. You never realize how warm another person can be until you actually touch them, until you feel them… especially until you hold them.

"I found this at a garage sale like a year ago. I bought it… I bought it because it kinda reminded me of you." Peering over him, I could see the pinball machine, but up close it turned out that the entire machine was outfitted with an Edgar Allan Poe theme. I could see the Raven, the Red Masque of Death, the Pit and the Pendulum, the Black Cat—even the Cask of Amontillado. It was dark, gothic, stylized, and… well, cool. If there ever was a pinball machine I would be interested in, it would be this one. If only he could've found an H.P. Lovecraft along the way too, but I couldn't ask for miracles. Besides… he'd done quite well on his own. A year ago? I could swear a year ago we'd still hated each other, or at least been pretending that we hated each other… and yet, he'd been sweet enough to pick out for me, even though he knew without a doubt that I more than likely would never even want to go to the arcade room?

Suddenly I felt embarrassed for thinking he was a gigantic dullard when I met him the very first time. It was so long ago, true, but still, I had even more guilt now for it.

"Uhm… do you… do you like it? At all? I—I know video games aren't really your thing—" Beast Boy said. I'd been too busy thinking to respond.

"It's great. I mean it. You know me really well, you know that?"

"Really?" He seemed so genuinely happy about it.

"Really."

"Hehe, good."

What followed wasn't an awkward silence, but the comfortable you only get with someone you're close with. We hadn't always been close, but it seemed like as we spent more and more time together (and more and more time making out) we were becoming that much more used to each other. It made me glad. I hate to sound like a schoolgirl with a crush, but that'd been all I'd ever wanted, ever hoped for when it came to these sort of things.

I didn't really know what I was doing when I did it; I was almost like a marionette for Love's puppet-master or something, I can't explain it. But somehow, my lips ended up on his ear, and I could feel him tense up the slightest bit in curiosity. What was I going to do? Neither of us knew. Ever so softly, I started to nibble on him, taking care not to hurt anything with my teeth. I think at first it was odd for him, and he remained tense, but soon enough he settled into a relaxed, almost obedient sort of position. He made sounds that better communicated his pleasure than any words he could've spoken.

My hands decided they had their own lives as well suddenly, my right one especially deciding to tiptoe ever so carefully down his stomach. He and I held rapt attention to the hand, trying to see where it would go. I think you know like I did where it would end up; I'm pretty sure he had a good idea about it as well. After all, it wasn't like I hadn't been around down there before.

He sighed with pleasure. "Rae…"

"Yes?" I whispered into his ear before going back to my strange little biting.

"You're beautiful."

The hand was done playing around with were really only clothes, and decided it would venture down underneath his belt to be closer to his you-know-what. Again, this had happened before, although I could still tell he was paying as much attention as he could to what I was doing. What was I doing? What in hell was I doing?

"You're amazing, Beast Boy. You really are."

I was being careful, wary of hurting anything in the place that all men are so vulnerable.

"I…" he shuddered, gripping my other hand even tighter. "… I like you a lot."

"I like you too, Beast Boy. And you've been so, so sweet. So I think…"

Carefully, ever so cautiously, my fingers started to slip underneath the elastic band of his underwear.

"…I want to do something for you." Suddenly my hand plunged in, gripping him, and his entire body arched in surprise, leaning into my hand with naked anticipation.

"Do…do…do you want me… to…" he said, breathing harder. I think you girls out there know what I was doing. Something I wondered if he did sometimes when he was alone, maybe thinking about someone like me, or someone that was me.

"Just sit back and relax, love. Enjoy it." If he couldn't believe what I was doing, he had no idea how dumb-founded I was. God help me, was I touching him down there? Was I rubbing him in that way? It wasn't actual sex, not in the least, but it was a rung on the ladder to that, and I was the one who was initiating it, _me_, the one most likely out of all five of us in the Tower to be a celibate.

He leaned back into me, breathing like a wild animal, and I did the thing I'd only dreamed of doing for him.

_(Later)_

I'm not sure how long it took when it eventually culminated, but it was definitely for quite a time. We'd already been in the gym, but Beast Boy sounded like he'd had a second workout, huffing and even sweating the teensiest bit. Slowly, I took my hand out of his pants and examined it. Clean. I remembered nightmares I'd had before where every guy I'd touch would become a heap of organs and I was put on trial like a witch on Salem, laughing at them for being so silly, and thanked God it wasn't the truth, or else Beast Boy really would've been a mess.

"That was…" he said after bringing his breathing back to a semblance of normal.

"Good?" I ventured hopefully. I was afraid to hear him disappointed. Terrified, actually.

He nodded enthusiastically. "Really, really good."

I smiled and kissed his neck gently. "Good."

He turned around, looking massively satisfied, and pulled me into a tight hug. I hugged him back with a squeeze; I could feel his fingers playing with the lowest-falling locks of my hair.

"Can you believe we used to hate each other?" he said quietly in my ear. I could hear the content in his voice.

"Not anymore, no," I replied. He moved away for a second so he could kiss me on the cheek, and then he came into the hug pulling me in even tighter.

"Me neither."

* * *

Extra Note: GOD I MISSED YOU GUYS. Thanks to relaxation of summer and watching Garden State the other day, I was in the mood to write this again. Yay! Hahahaha. All of you reading this, you guys are awesome!


	8. Transatlanticism

Disclaimer: I own nozingk. NOZINGK.

* * *

Transatlanticism

* * *

"…_[I]t seems to me that the best relationships—the ones that last—are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with." –Gillian Anderson_

* * *

It was about two weeks or so later when we actually slept together.

Now, of course, you're going to look at that and think that Beast Boy and I were having sexual intercourse because people use that colloquialism for it all the time. Hell, I've used it before in conversation, and the last time you were with us I wasn't exactly being the most chaste girl in the world, but trust me, neither of us were on that level with the other yet, although I'm pretty sure the both of us were thinking about it with abundant hope and expectation.

No, so far we'd only been on that second-base level of intimacy, and even so only occasionally would anything ever go beneath underwear. Still, I think he felt obliged to "help me out" the same way I did for him, and it eventually happened one night when we were fooling around a bit in my room (he couldn't help but ogle at the sheer amount of books I owned, but soon enough he was ogling something else; I never knew my breasts could be weapons of attention). It was… exhilarating. I never thought I'd be able to make sounds like that, but when you're really involved in the moment like that, I guess you just forget being human a little and turn into a bit of an animal. He did so well in that regard, it made me feel excited to even imagine how well he would do when it came to… well, you probably know damn well what I'm talking about.

I'd said it before too, but with each passing day it seemed like we were getting even more used to one another. Sitting down on the couch in the Main Ops room? We started to sit next to each other automatically; he usually put one arm around me and I usually put my head on his shoulder. It became part of the routine, and I loved that to no end. I never told him that, but it really did make my heart feel so light and so full, almost to the point of ridiculousness. Believe me, that's a funny feeling for me to have, especially consistently. And more and more often I found myself looking for him, searching around to see if he was nearby. More often than not, he was looking for me too. I got much more comfortable with embracing him, especially in front of other people; I can remember the stiff silence and feeling the weight of their eyes on the two of us when I hugged him from behind and planted a little kiss on his cheek while he cooked tofu bacon on a pan. I even flaunted a little bit. I think I was daring someone to make a comment, to even say a contrary word, but no one did, and I feel that everybody else started getting used to it in their own ways as well. Or at least, we _forced_ them to, hehe.

One time we even came close to taking a shower together. I knew that would've led to some naughty stuff one way or another, but still, as afraid of it I was, I also felt excited to share such an intimate moment with Beast Boy. You really get to another level when you see someone else nude, whether you want to or not; being bare like that in front of someone else makes a relationship all that more special, be it romantic or just friendly. Or even acquaintances, although that more than likely just makes things exponentially more awkward. Both of us had the nerve, plus he already had his shirt off and my cloak had fluttered away to the ground, but suddenly someone started pounding on the bathroom door and I had to phase away to my room, or else neither of us would be able to live it down for days, maybe even weeks.

I like to think that, if whoever it was hadn't ruined our moment, I would've lathered up with my boy that day.

My boy. Funny to call him that. Were we dating? In a relationship? So far it'd been fun and romantic and free, but I wondered where we were going with it, and what we would call it. Either way, honestly, I just wanted to be with him, but still, it made me wonder.

So one day, something possessed me. A demon of love, I guess you could say. I had to talk to somebody about it all, you know? Someone who wasn't Beast Boy, someone who was an arbitrary third party that could give some outside perspective; I thought about it long and hard, weighing all the possible options. I certainly couldn't take it out of the Titans organization, because frankly, I did not want too many people knowing my business. These were personal matters, and I wanted advice from someone who was my friend, who knew the both of us. I didn't want to make the trip to any of the other Titan Towers across the world for counsel, admittedly because I felt too lazy to travel. That left our very own Jump City Teen Titans, and I had a grand total of three choices. So who would I ask for guidance?

Robin would be level-headed, no doubt, and he'd exceeded both of our expectations by being so accepting of what we were doing; Cyborg would know what Beast Boy was thinking, and probably wouldn't joke about it like other things; Starfire would understand what it was like from the girl's perspective, and do her damned best to help me. All three had real potential.

I don't know how I chose it. We had such a peculiar history with conversations, you know. But sure enough, there I stood outside Starfire's door, timidly knocking.

It slid open swiftly, and there she stood, wearing these soft, silky pajamas that I never would've had the guts to even try on for fear of embarrassment. A toothbrush was poking out of her mouth, and her arched half-eyebrows expressed her surprise plainly enough. The widening grin on her face showed she was pleased. Long ago, I would have inwardly-groaned at such open friendliness, but… well… Starfire is just a sweet girl. I couldn't hold it against her for being like that.

She tried to say something like "Friend Raven!", but it came out more sounding more like "FWEN 'AYVN!" because her mouth was full of toothpaste. I smiled nervously.

"Uh…hi, Star. Can I come in?"

She nodded her head vehemently, beckoning me in. I walked through the door and felt the rush of air as the door slid shut behind me.

I was in now. No turning back.

She dashed into her bathroom, most likely to spit out her toothpaste, and I sat down on the edge of her bed. It was all she had for furniture, really; the only other thing was the mini-bed for Silkie, and that was currently occupied by the little alien, snoring away peacefully. It was getting late. I felt tired, myself, and just a bit anxious. Just… didn't know quite what to say to her, or how to bring it up. Starfire is easy to approach, sure, but I'm not particularly known for my expertise in talking about feelings.

Baby steps, I guess.

She came floating back out, jovial as always, and I tried my best to look inviting.

"Raven! How are you! Welcome to my room!" She settled down next to me, clasping her hands on her lap, and shoved her face a little close for comfort to mine.

"Thanks, Star. Sorry to interrupt you brushing your teeth. I know it's kind of late."

"Oh, no worries, friend. It has been some time since we have had 'the talk of girls', I was hoping for something like this to happen! Tell me, Raven: how goes it with Beast Boy? More squishie-squeezings and tongue fights, yes?"

Well, that was one way to put it.

"Um… yeah, there's been… there's been plenty of that. And I mean, I think it's been going well."

She inched closer to me on the bed.

"Well? This is good, yes?"

"Oh, yeah Starfire, that meant good. We like each other a lot. I mean… I mean, I like Beast Boy a lot. And I think he likes me a lot too.

"No. No, actually, I'm sure he does. I have no doubt about it."

Starfire clasped her hands together happily. "RAVEN! My friend, this is _wonderful_! I am delighted for you and Beast Boy!"

I think I must have shocked her with my smile. "Thank you, Star."

"…But I sense that you wish to talk about something, Raven. What is it? You can speak to me about anything you wish, my friend; I shall listen."

"You're right, actually. I did come here to talk about something. Something about me and Beast Boy."

"Yes?"

"We've… we've been together for two weeks, right? Maybe even three. Heh. It all feels like a really long and wonderful dream whenever I think about it, to be honest."

"I know this feeling, Raven."

"You and Robin, right?"

"Since Tokyo," she said dreamily, staring into space. She must've been thinking about that first kiss. It's not something you easily forget.

"And you didn't want to do anything to ruin it, did you? You finally got this—this magnificent thing happening, and nothing was wrong or complicated or messed up, and you were so happy! So goddamn happy! But when it came down to it, even though you two were so happy together and having a great time, you wondered… if he would call you his girlfriend. If that was where you were. If that wouldn't throw in a monkey wrench or anything. I mean, shit, so many people make a big deal about it, and for you, it's not, and you think it wouldn't be for him, but God forbid you brought it up and he wasn't uncomfortable and everything got ruined and you had to go back to being alone and not having that one person that meant the entire world to you in your life or having him there but not in the same way and it'd be all your fault because you're the one who drew the line in the sand and ended all the fun by making things so serious and you'd be hitting yourself over the head because what else could you do now that you ruined everything life was worth living for—"

"Um, friend Raven?"

I'd delved so far into the heated rant it took a good minute or two for me to come back to reality.

"Yeah, Starfire?"

"You are levitating all the things in my room. Including us."

Sure enough, everything was perched precariously in the air, enveloped by my tell-tale magic. Silkie had managed to snooze his way through it, miraculously.

"Oh."

Gently, I set everything/one down.

"Thank you, Raven. I did not wish to interrupt, but…"

"No no, don't worry about it. I just got… carried away."

"It is all right, I do not mind."

Self-consciously, I pulled my knees up to my chest and clamped my arms around them. "So… what do you think, Starfire? Should I ask him?"

"Friend Raven, I was able to follow your immense amount of words quite clearly, but I was not able to comprehend what exactly you are worried about asking. Are you not already his girlfriend?"

"That's the thing, Starfire. I'm not certain. I mean, I think I am his girlfriend. I—I feel like I am. And I don't think he would freak out about it or anything. But I finally have him, and…"

"…You wish not to lose him."

I felt a little bit like crying.

"Yes."

Starfire didn't speak for the longest time. Her face was distant, and her mind was clearly mulling over what I'd said. I waited with dreadful anticipation for her answer.

Finally, it seemed as if the answer had come to her mind.

"Raven."

"Yes, Starfire?"

"Beast Boy cares for you deeply, does he not?"

"Y-Yes."

"Friend Raven, I know you are more certain than that."

Damn. Cutting right to the bone.

"Yes. Yes he does."

"If Beast Boy cares for you so, and has shown it in such mature and romantic ways, then he must be prepared to answer any question you may have. And if this question is of whether you are his girlfriend or not, I am sure he will give you a straightforward answer, and I am almost just as sure that he will say you are his girlfriend. If he does, for some reason, have a problem, then I would suggest that you two attempt to work it out, but it is my opinion that there should be no problem, for you two are quite adorable together and are obviously _flarfleblags_."

"…_Flarfleblags_?"

"Destined lovers," she replied cheerfully.

"Oh." She nodded. "So… you're saying, Starfire, that I should just… go ahead and ask him?"

"Absolutely. I predict you will not be disappointed. But even so, I wish you the best of the lucks."

"It's just 'luck', Star."

"Oop! Best of the luck then, Raven."

There she was, sitting and smiling like a goofball, and suddenly I couldn't hold back. I threw my arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace, hiding my face in her shoulder. I could feel the tension in her body dissipate as she returned the embrace, hugging me even tighter. It wasn't one of those emotional "Oh, I'm crying, be my tissue" sort of things, but damn, I needed it.

Of course, I was the one who broke away first, but it wasn't abrupt. It was kind of nice to know I wasn't too much of a cold-hearted bitch anymore, anyway.

"Go to him, Raven," she encouraged.

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Starfire."

"It is no difficulty, my friend."

"Seriously. Thanks for being a good friend."

With the growing spread of her blush, I left the room.

I had business to care of.

* * *

I was lying in bed in my underwear, to be honest. I'd just taken a shower, and was a little too lazy to bother with putting on real PJ's, but hey, when you're a dude, the rules are a little different.

I flipped onto my side and stared at my bureau. In the bottom drawer, stuffed underneath extra pairs of jeans that I never seemed to get the chance to wear anymore, was my "collection". Yes, that one. I'd put it away two weeks ago, to the day.

Why?

…I didn't really need it anymore.

Granted I wouldn't throw it out, but… the girls just didn't compare anymore. It was so weird. I'd spent years fantasizing about these women that I could never have, glorifying their softcore porn pictures and paying shameful tribute just about every other night, and now? Now, I wanted nothing to do with them. They didn't do anything for me.

Not when I had the real thing, and an even better girl, at that.

I mean, jeez, I didn't even really need to "do my business" anymore, honestly. Rae and I… heh, we kinda took care of that for it each other. And even the rare times when I did… well, who else would I think of? As far as I was concerned, there were no other girls. She was the only one I wanted, the only one I needed, and I had her, and that was the end of that. No ifs ands or buts. Clear as crystal.

So would she be with me? Boyfriend and girlfriend?

…I hoped so.

We'd been having so much fun together; I'd been dreading the thought of asking her. Things had been going perfectly, and we hadn't gotten on each other's nerves, and I mean, crap, I doubt a couple that makes out as much as we do would have any relationship troubles. But labels… sometimes, people make a humongous deal about them. They get scared. They hate commitment. They want to be free and not tied down with you.

Sometimes, they end up being the unwilling apprentice of an evil bastard.

I shook my head. I couldn't think about her and the past. Not now, not while I had a future right in front of me. This was real, this was present, this was undoubtedly alive.

I liked Raven a lot.

I wanted her to be mine.

But I didn't even want to think about what could happen if I was the one who split us apart by putting a name on it. I didn't want it to be even the slightest of possibilities.

I couldn't take something like that happening.

Ah, but what if she said yes?

What if.

What _if_.

Rolling onto my back, I put my hands behind my head, sighed, and closed my eyes. I'd gathered up the guts to ask her out in the first place somehow. Could I do it again? Could I brave the unknown?

Like I said before: I hoped so.

Considering my eyes were closed, you have to forgive me for not even knowing anyone else was in the room until I heard a throat being cleared.

"Oh shit, are you alright?" I realized later that it was the very first time I could recall Raven's voice sounding concerned about me, but I was too busy cradling my head in my arms to really appreciate it.

"Mmmnf," I replied. In all honesty, I needed to work on my nerves.

Suddenly my head was being lifted onto a warm lap. My hands slowly dropped to my sides as her fingers began to caress my face. I opened my eyes expecting her to be somewhat amused, but her upturned eyebrows and repentant frown said otherwise.

"Seriously. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Rae. You just caught me by surprise. Don't sweat it."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't sneak up on you all the time. You'll give yourself a concussion one of these days."

"You think I haven't already?"

"Good point."

We traded small smiles. I realized that she'd begun to tousle and play with my hair; it wasn't surprising so much as that she was doing that, but that it was really, amazingly relaxing.

"That feels good," I admitted.

"Does it?"

"Yeah. Seriously."

"Hmm. Figures the animal boy likes to get petted, huh?"

I giggled. "Caught me."

"You bet your ass I did. I've got your weakness."

"Err, you kinda got a lot of those down pat already."

"I know."

"Kind of at a disadvantage here, you know. Maybe Raven should share?"

"Sorry, hun, but you have to figure them out for your own."

"'Hun'. That's new."

She stopped. "Do you not like that?"

"I like it," I assured. She went back to playing with my hair. Her face seemed the teensiest bit relieved. "So, um… I guess I have to ask. Why did you come into my room in the first place? Not that I don't want you here or anything, I'm just, you know, curious."

She stopped again, this time taking each of my cheeks in one of her hands. We were staring at each other now, and I could practically see the words in her throat fighting to get out.

"Rae?"

"…"

"Rae. Is there something wrong?" She shook her head so fast, I swore she would get whiplash.

"No no, not at all, Beast Boy. Never. I just…"

She drifted off into unbearable silence.

"…You just…"

She was seriously contemplating whatever she was about to say.

"…I just wanted to see what you were up to."

Oh.

"Oh. Um… cool."

She bit her lip and looked away guiltily. Her hands went back to messing around with my hair, but even they seem disappointed too, like she wanted to say something much more important than that but couldn't get it out.

…It couldn't be.

No way.

She wasn't…

She couldn't be thinking of asking…

No way.

…No way?

I sat up abruptly. I thought I could hear her gasp a little bit behind me. This was serious shit, and I had to look her face to face for it. I couldn't do it any other way. My stomach was doing somersaults fretfully, but I ignored it with every inch of will I had.

When I turned around, she seemed to be a mix of stunned, curious, and even a little afraid. I didn't blame her much for being afraid, if she actually was; I was only so far from legitimately shitting my pants. Carefully, I took her hands in mine.

I think mine were the ones that were trembling. I could be wrong, though.

As far, she'd just been staring at her pale hands folded in mine, like she'd never seen them before in her life. Me? I was focusing on her face. I'd kissed it so many times over the last few weeks, I'd even lost count. A part of me wanted to do it again, just in case what I was about to say would destroy us forever; another part of me wanted me to stop being a pussy and just say something to her.

I compromised.

Her forehead felt feverishly hot under my lips, all except that quirky little jewel in the middle, but I savored the sensation anyway. I drew away. She'd finally stopped gaping at her hands, instead gazing cautiously into my eyes. Rae had good defenses, but I could see the inner turmoil hiding behind those dilated pupils.

God, she could probably read me like an open book.

"Rae…" I'd meant for it to come out much stronger, but I choked on her name on the way up and it came out more of a hoarse whisper. I gathered up more resolve. "Rae."

"Yes?" Was her breath getting caught in her lungs? Mine sure were.

"Can I ask you something?"

"S-Sure."

Did she stutter? Since when did she stutter?

"Um… I was… I was just wondering…"

"…Yeah?"

"I mean, I was thinking about it and all, and I didn't know, you know, what you would think about it, so…"

"…So…"

"…So… I was wondering… if, maybe… you kinda, you know… wanted to go out? Officially? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Her jaw dropped a little. My heart dropped further.

"Beast Boy," she whispered hauntingly. I could feel the shameful heat rushing into my ears.

I began to mutter out an apology. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I shouldn't have—"

It was kinda like being mauled by a very affectionate and human-shaped bear; I was overwhelmed immediately, falling back onto floor as her lips peppered every inch of my face.

"—I should have?" I asked through her flowered kisses. My face felt hot.

"Yes," she breathed, planting a big one on my lips.

"You want to be—?"

"Yes."

"…Cool."

"Mhm." I'd never seen her smile as wide as she did that day.

"That was… easier than I thought, actually," I mused aloud.

"Same here."

She'd stopped attacking me with kisses finally, but now she was lying on top of me and we were trapped, staring at each other like ditzy lovers in the afterglow.

We stayed that way for a while, too, until I yawned and broke the spell.

"Tired?" she said. I nodded sleepily. I didn't know what time it was, but I could tell it was late.

"Want to go to bed?" I nodded once more, not even processing what she was saying. What can I say? I was in la-la-land.

Wordlessly, she hoisted herself off of me and unclasped her cloak. I perked up almost immediately.

She crawled into my bed, slipping underneath the covers, and gazed out expectantly. "So are you coming to bed or what?"

Grinning like an idiot to myself, I sauntered over and tucked in next to her. Our legs intertwined as we snuggled in closer, her head fitting perfectly underneath my chin.

She was warm.

I was in heaven.

"Good night, Beast Boy."

"Sweet dreams, Raven."

She cuddled even closer.

"Nice boxers."

"Thanks."

I drifted off into vivid dreams of indigo and grey.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey guys. Been a long, long time, huh? Just about a year and seven months, I think.

I missed this story. Missed you guys. Missed writing.

Things have been busy, honestly. Still are; I was just able to carve out some time for this on a whim. I think I found my muse again? That would be great, anyway.

So yeah. It's been a while. I've grown quite a bit since I started this. Figured out a lot about who I am and where I want to be. Still haven't quite found my girl yet, true, but I'm okay with that. I guess that's the whole point, though. Everything's okay now. I can finally go back to writing romance without wanting to punch something, haha.

So, uh... welcome back? :)

I'm happy to be here, guys. Thanks for sticking with me.


	9. Author's Note

Author's Note

Stand on hold for the next few days, guys. I've been whipping up a new chapter after I lost all the other documents a long time back, it should be up within a week.

Also, once again, thanks for sticking with me, those who've waited insanely patiently over months and months of no updates. I can't remember anymore what reviews I responded to or didn't thus far, but if you leave one in from here on out, I'll be sure to get back to you, if only for a simple note of gratitude.

Hope to see you soon!


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